Happy happy New Year 2014!

Best wishes to all of you, wherever you are, for a happy and good, lovely and hopeful New Year!

I hope to come back more often with ideas and opinions - last year was meagre in the harvest of writing and having fun - all a question of good organisation, isn't it? 

When I was singing with my old choir last December the first Cantata of the Weihnachtsoratorium by Johann Sebastian Bach, the text hit me like an autobus: Lasset das Zagen, verbannet die Klage! - if this is not the right motto to start the new year, then I do not know what to give you as a message on your way....

 Right now I am with the children in the sunny part of the South of France and the last waltz  of the Vienna New Years' Concert makes me quite melancholy. An advantage of being grown up and having lived already many a year is that one knows that melancholy is a hint in the direction where we should go and do better next time, not less, not more.

So, after a short bout of  dear melancholy, this is the time for new plans and resolutions and the fun of following them or not.

Have you made resolutions while jumping down the sofa into the new year yesteryear evening? In any case there are so many things I want to do, see and read! 

In true adaptation of my friend Friedrich's saying: " This life is one of the Best!!!"

And here is the Radetzky Marsch - off we go to new adventures!

Happy tidings to you all......
Jola

Hello again!

It is AMAZING. For the last months I have not written a single word in this blog and have not even had the leisurely time to look at it - and today, as good Sunday morning should be, armed with a lovely and hot cup of coffee and the sun shining into my living room -  I go to my handbag and see it is well alive! Actually, we have passed the 10 000 views, which is in itself pretty amazing! You all have been busy looking at my ramblings and I can see on the stats page ( which I LOVE!) that the US, India, South America and even the Far East have been looking on this blog a lot, great fun! Thank you!

The months past have been pretty heavy on my time and mind, but then there are always times in our lives, where everything must be cut down to a minimum to ensure an somewhat essential continuity - anyway, the most important thing is to come out of all chaos more or less alive and perhaps a little bit ruffled, but spirits untamed, unabashed and perhaps, or let us say better, hopefully a bit wiser and calmer.

I am sitting right here

Now we are heading once again onto Christmas, the season which every year take you by surprise. I have not yet  a picture of the children to send around, and not a single Christmas present. Nor do I have any idea - there is blank void in front of me and the famous list, the children put in the fridge in the kitchen is still empty. I have filled in some stuff, to make them busy: an orchid; Nigelissima's cookbook for the easy recipes therein, in the never dying hope that the children will start to cook them themselves, some "Cresta" chocolate by Lindt - difficult to find her in Belgium, so relatively safe - and which I should not eat, as I have imperatively to lose weight for health reasons, so boring - and perhaps a subscription for english Vogue or Bazaar?

I have to tell you that the latest two editions of English Harpers Bazaar have been super super interesting, with good journalism, wonderful pictures, clever tips on beauty and interiors, people and style. And a clever person writing right now the "Why don't you" page - at least someone with an interest in Culture and Art! Go and buy yourselves a copy ( no, unfortunately I do not get paid, this is free publicity for the damn paper)  - but, seriously, I really advise you to have a look at it, I think it might for those last two editions at least be the only really interesting and inspiring fashion magazine there is for the moment - I mean for people like me without loads of money and time but who have to live a real life in the search of Beauty and the Good Life.

That said, once again thanks to you all of you following this little blog. I am really so happy that there are people out there looking at the stuff - amazing.

Musings on a Sunday morning

It is Sunday  and this morning I was sitting on my terrace, after a good half an hour of wandering around in my garden, cleaning and cutting, while the world was still fast asleep and nobody around but the dogs and the early birds. Quite stupid to potter around at such an early hour, but to me this is peace and quiet, time to think. Today I had a flash of insight, a conclusion, crystal clear and not to be discussed: it is imply impossible to be perfect in all the duties we think we have. Please note my words in the sense: we think we have.

I had now two weeks alone at home, well, not really alone, as the old gentlemen dogs are my constant companions, but rather alone. And it was rather quiet in the office as well, this marvelous time of the year, where the place calms down to an almost relaxed atmosphere and people chat and have coffees, interrupted by rare peaks of hectic activity, only then to sink back in a wonderful slow motion, doing things like cleaning offices or finishing archives or simply taking a lunch break of an hour instead of the sandwich taken and eaten in half an hour.

But I did not want to write about work, but about my conclusions I had this morning.

I had been at home alone and my house was during two weeks my home alone. When I hastened home in the evening - one bad point: dogs need company, so no dwindling around after office in town or going straight to the cinemas ( by the way: saw the last Woody Allen and would very much advise to see it - it is a very dark film ...) - no I dashed home, to see the doggies, do some very light homework and re-orientate me in a house which is in constant order.

In the first week I still went out to see friends, which was fun and wonderful - and come to the conclusion that it is impossible to see friends all the time, as much as one would like to - old ladies like me need some solitude and quiet and not talking, but lolling around the house on the sofa, without any requirements from Me.

In the second week I simply stayed at home and hang about my garden and the house, cleaned out drawers, made resolutions what will be different next year had some good telephone conversations, wrote letters and tried to clean my desk - all in all, I had a good rest, for a start. 

Yesterday, or better today at 2 am,  the children came back - I must admit, that I was missing them a lot one one side, on the other side, I liked my house with the clean and well arranged bathroom, the neat towels arranged on their shelf, soaps not floating in water and discomposing consequently, almost no washing to do and especially the kitchen being pristine, as a yogurt and apple doe not require extensive cooking. No garbage bulging around, no empty milk cartons, and no leftovers in the TV room, staying as neat as it was when I left for the office in the morning.

Don't get me wrong, I am not a cleaning freak, but I NEED almost physically to have beautiful surroundings and I stubbornly try to fight against the slow lowering of standards of beauty and calm in my environment. Of course I love my children to bits, I think I have made that very clear. Now as they are back, I am more than happy and will take on other duties - like cooking, chatting, ironing and schlepping tons of food home, trying to install some order in the creative chaos and make them do their bit as well, as nobody lives alone in this world and we all need to learn how to adapt to others in the best way for both parties. But the musing is: If I have to cook, I cannot do the gardening as good and intensive as I would like. If I have the dogs at home, I cannot go and socialise as easy as I would like to. If I have washing and ironing to do for 5 people, there is little space for arranging "objets d'art" and sewing curtains. If I work full time, there is no time for writing and saying something which could be of interest for you, my dear readers. If I watch a film with the children, I cannot cook a perfect meal - fortunately Popcorn has recently been recognized as a healthy sack... And so on and on.

Anyway, you get the point. It seems to be a life of choices, as usual. One cannot have the cake and eat it too, as some clever people said. And my friend Caroline gave me the best advice ever a couple of years ago, to keep sane and not starting to cry about the fact that you cannot manage to make homemade ketchup and have a party and have completely well trained children and perfect dogs and be a Megasuperstar at the office and find the money to be always best dressed, made up and elegant  and take care of your friends and find time for love and also time for doing Pilates and time for singing and and and- it is simply not possible. Caroline's word ring in my ears: Pick your battles. And another clever thing Martin Seligman said: Let the good take care of the bad. 

To hell with the washing and ironing, I will spend the day today with the children sitting in the garden ( which I cleaned yesterday, alone in utter bliss and it looks like a salon - for two days at least) and hearing what they have to tell me, making plans and talking about life and all of it. Just hoping that the washing and ironing of 4 childrens' 2 weeks in holidays will go away miraculously of its own. Tomorrow is Monday and the office needs me - and what was it, that Camus said: We have to imagine Sisyphos a happy man. 

Now that IS some consolation.

Why don't you... (stopped counting)

Indeed,

 

Stop counting: What went wrong, what has not been done, what he/she did wrong, how many kilo's you have gained during the last year, the times you have been kept waiting at the post office, the rain, the traffic in the morning, supermarkets and all the months/years until you will be a pensioner and will start your real life ( ...)  -  all that sort of things which make life as a whole miserable.

 

Start counting: Your blessings, the clouds in the sky, the congratulations you got for your last birthday, the new people you met this year and the month/days/years until your birthday/holidays/move to another country/new stage of your life - and start to prepare for it?

 

Stop thinking about: Money, health and friends.

 

Start thinking about: Friends, health and money.

 

Throw a party when you are down? Best remedy against those depressions creeping up in the small hours of the night: you have something to look forward to!

 

Take things easy?    My doctor told me to do so - quite a difficult task, but intriguing if it works...

 

Change your daily way to work in order to look around you?

 

Make new friends and feel invigorated, grateful and happy for them having come into your life?

 

Plan holidays ONLY for yourself? Admit, we are not used to do that anymore. Seems bliss to me.

 

Buy a new wintercoat? And in an other colour than black or blue? ( I love grey...)

 

Stop whining: Or you are unhappy about something and wail about it and then do all you can to change it, or you just stop wailing and grin and bear it. Nothing more tiresome than someone complaining all the time but not doing anything to change it...

 

Start making plans  about things to be done still this year and what to do next year and what you expect to have achieved in 10 years? Gives a sense of purpose to all uphill struggling in the day to day life...

 

Get on facebook, even if you are already over 30?  Have to think about that. After all we have to take part in the modern information revolution...? Keep up to date with technology is one indicator of being alive. I have not yet become a member, but am actively thinking about it ... (Simply to make this blog more known and see what comes out of it.)

 

Get in touch with The Red Handbag?? I would love to hear from you, yes, you over there. Feedback is welcome. Just send a message to theredhandbag@gmail.com  - super curious about you, my readers...!

 

Does the good life really needs to be expensive?

In times of financial crisis the thing is all about economising. Normally the first things which have to go are the so called superfluous things, or "luxury" - like eating bio food, going in museums, giving  presents, buying fresh flowers for your home, going to the hairdresser, inviting friends, giving a party and buying books. Which is a catastrophe in terms of economy, as the small businesses, your hairdresser, the bookshop and the bakery will have to close down for the lack of customers. If you stop buying the Belgium strawberries, f.e,  at a price of 8 Euros a batch and turn to the Spanish ones at 3.50 a batch, you know what will be the outcome: more planes in the sky for cheaper strawberries. Or no strawberries at all.

And it is a catastrophe in terms of health - more junk food, more waste and less socialising. Eating a cold pizza in front of the telly alone is not - at least my - a way of living the good life.

Now let's start to look at the good life from the other side.
 

Actually living the good life is a state of mind and has - ultimately - not really something to do with money. I always get on your nerves about beauty, but believe me, it is so important and helps in each and every aspect of our daily lives today.  

All of the things I spoke of, like going to the hairdresser or buying less bio food - all that is false economy, on the long run. If you do not feel well in your life, nobody else will make you feel well. If you take the wrong based decisions - nobody else will have the instrument to remedy those.

The good life is all about the things you cannot buy - OK, fair enough, having the money  at hand and not to have to think twice is making it much easier, but then, let's be honest, do we not have enough money?? I do not talk here of world poverty and the poor in our streets - they are not reading this blog, I suppose. But me and you, out there?

To live a good live is important, very much so. Why should you bother otherwise? And the good life depends mostly on your attitude, not on the Louis Vuitton Handbag.
 

The older I get the more I cherish the things money cannot buy: friends, time, health, beauty, laughter, good company, blue sky, fresh water, a good conversation, trees, a hot espresso in a street cafe in Munich, clean bedsheets, homemade confiture, my old discs of Bach and Abba, the same model of shoes for their comfort and a good beloved handbag, which has been perhaps very expensive but gets only better with wear and tear.
 

So, the good life being expensive is the one where you go to the Seychelles for the weekend or stay at the 9star Hotel  in London, buying washing powder for your clothes at Harrods and having your shirts ironed in Hongkong. All is possible. And if people want to do it, then it is their own choice and they are welcome to it. But  if that means that other mortals feel a permanent lack of possibilities, then I invite you all to have a good hard look and stop fidgeting about that nonsense.

Small children in plublic places...

Bear with me for some serious moaning.
The other day I was waiting at the dry cleaners to bring in my winter coat to have it cleaned and then to store it away- in an attack of forcing spring to arrive here sooner. It was already around 1800 hours, a normal and long work day, in a reasonably friendly neighbourhood, one where you still know your clients by name.
I was  the only customer after a lady who was standing there waiting her turn. She was there with three kids, all under 10, of which two, a boy about 10, a girl about 7 were behaving like little mice: they were sitting on the bench for people who wait, very quietly and kindly talking in a low voice to each other.

The third child, a little girl, very sweet and lovely, was hanging on her stylish mother, the child perhaps around three years old. And it was hell. The little brat did not keep still for a moment, was singing, chatting, rattling away with silly remarks, moving around and getting not only on her siblings'  nerves, who became more and more quiet. It seems a diva is born. The mother, during all that running around, touching things, showing tongues to me or funny faces to the saleslady, singing loud, in short, simply being a nuisance, did not say a word.
I, old warhorse that I am by now, was watching. And on and on it went. The poor lady at the counter could hardly concentrate, the mother did not move but was deeply in union with her mobile phone, the little girl dashing around the shop and between the clothes, the two other children being quietly sitting on the bench, trying to ignore all of us.
Then they left.

I looked at the lady, who looked back at me and said: "MON DIEU! I have never seen such bad behaviour. And I have four of my own."
And I felt I had found a sister soul.

SO, how do you turn your little loved monster in a good behaved child at least in public? What it does at home is another question, worth a full post on this blog.
But in public: Mothers and fathers, grandparents, uncles and aunts of this world, do not believe that everybody thinks your children are the best, the funniest and the most beautiful. This is a privilege of us moms and dads. Normally  nobody else thinks children behaving badly so much fun.

So, what to do? Do not ignore them. Take them at the hand. Look at them and say: Enough now, there are other people here and we do not want them to be disturbed. This applies to the child jumping up and down in front of a beaming mother in the plane, the howling child at the supermarket cash table fighting for the candy there and for the toddler with his tricycle, banging into other pedestrians repeatedly.

But back to my dry cleaners: And if the child does not hear, you  always can apologise to the salesperson for leaving just a minute, and put your child in your car, where it has to wait until you have finished your business. Not always the kindest way, but a possibility to keep sane after all, for mother child and onlooker together.

Don't get me wrong. I am the first to engage with a child which smiles at me. But this is about basic manners - OF THE PARENT. You' feel much better and in control  if you take care of your children and not just ignore them as the best way to educate them.  Your child will feel much safer for knowing the boundaries and knowing that you are SEEING her/him. They need it. Believe me, it is true.

Spring Clean your Skin - again!

Well, it has been a while that I wrote about cremes and stuff and here is spring again! Fresh game, fresh luck?

While browsing the relevant magazines - a true refreshing and relaxing activity, highly inspiring - there is still a very clear tendency  this year for this fresh and glowing bare nude skin allover. Hurrah! As I never use foundation ( though age tells me that I should consider it seriously - but then you cannot kiss your beloved ones without smearing tons of coloured grease on them) the idea of clear and beautiful skin appeals to me very much.

And as you have perhaps already read in my first steps here in this blog (3/2011), in my humble opinion, cleaning is simply the single best advice for a good skin. Simple as that. Sure, not a good idea to do this with baking soda - which by the way in careful measures is great for zapping that pimple - you use a baking soda toothpaste you have more or less the same effect. But investing in ten minutes daily in the evening cleansing your skin and while doing so doing a small massage is the best and most promising thing to do if you want to keep a nice fine texture in your face.

For me the best cleansers are still Eve Lom, the mud soap wash by Kanebo and cleansing milks from Clarins. But this is out of habit of a lifetime and it makes only sense, to stick to using the products I like if they work. Recently I have tried "Bio Cellular Super Cleanse" by the range of Elemental Herbology and I liked that very well indeed. It is a sort of balm, which gets softer on the skin and with a bit of water ends up as a milky concoction which leaves skin really nice! Another really good alternative is the "Persil Seed Facial Cleansing Oil" made by Aesop.The smell is a bit too organic for my taste, but it works great and leaves the skin glowing and clean.

Well, back to that skin. I have already written that I have become a convert to face oils, funnily enough already before the new fad for oils started. It seems the great next thing - oils for everything. Hair, skin, lips and all. Actually a good oil fits all needs you might have in the skincare sector - like the Musketeers, one for all, all for one.Surely, one has to get used to using oils to clean the skin, but then it makes all sense: for thousands of years people have used oil in their body care and beauty regimes and once you have tried it you will understand why.

One of the great concerns in older lifetimes are the open pores - the skin gets more coarse, and looses that fine and velvety texture. To be honest, apart form aggressively peeling your skin, there is nothing much to be done, really. But this  sad situation can be kept in check with cleaning regularly those zones - best not too aggressively though . But then you know your skin best and should know what you can "do to yourself" and what not. For me, for example a peeling is already very dangerous - my skin flares up and gets all red over.  Note to self: Every skin is different and when you have reached a certain age, then you should know your own skin. When in doubt opt for the gentler version ( great advice anyway in all sorts of things...) If not, brew a cup of tea and start thinking about your life...



Again the AESOP face oils are really good and worth a try - there is one rosehip oil called "Damascan Intense Rose Facial Treatment", which is for my sensitive and dehydrated skin a gods end. The best though by far is unfortunately the terribly expensive Olio Lusso from Rodin - one oil that does it all - no nights creams no day creams nor serums nor tonics, nor lotions - exactly my cup of tea. And if you do not have to buy all those things, then it is not sooooo expensive after all. I am not so very fond of all the praising and publicity around this new brand, but must admit that it is really good.

Of course it is essential, once in a while to reconsider ones beauty routine - and again, the secret lies in the fact that you follow it, whatever it is, really regularly.

There are also an awful lot of new face creams out there - I used to dream to become beauty editor at Vogue just to be able to try all that stuff - but now I am not sure about this any more. The sheer offer screams at your face ( good joke) and is simply overwhelming. When I stroll through the beauty alleys I am almost fed up with all the possibilities being thrown at me, my skin and my purse. Feels like shopping in the Soldes, I rather buy nothing because I cannot make up my mind and do not know what to choose. I for one love the personal touch, I would like the people to know me and my skin and love to have the little chat about this and that product and then I like to stay with a thing that works for me - definitely not the ideal customer for all those 1001 new things, which come up every year. Well, good buy, is all I say....

To tell the truth, if you cleanse and hydrate, you can take what ever you like, be it a very expensive or a less-heavy-assault-on-your-purse cream. You get my point, Creme de la Mer against L'Oreal  - is it not more about the prestige of the pot sitting on our bathroom shelves??? It is more about doing some pampering for ourselves than actually the rock bottom science behind it all. We all know this, but then what we buy is in fact really the "Hope in a jar". We buy our little part of eternal beauty we would like to have with us for ever. A lovely pot full of deliciously smelling face cream or a lovely little flakon with some oil is simply beautiful and satisfies that need for beauty I am always  coming back to. Essential for a good life - sorry but this is what I really want you to understand....

And to prove my point: My mother for example still belongs to that generation which lived all her life with Nivea cream and her skin looks simply wonderful, soft, wrinkly and velvety 90 years.

All that does not hinder me to still mourn my best beloved cream and never found a substitute: Dior, "Icone" - it was THE cream for me for over two decades, moved with me to Portugal, to Delhi and to Ankara. Until it was no more.  But then nothing lasts for ever as we all know. Not even Dior Cremes! Shame.