The Importance of being Groomed - Messieurs!

Life is unfair, we all know it. Therefore a little bit more fairness here in writing about grooming to you, gentlemen, as well.
When I was writing the post for the girls, it came only naturall to think about the men in our lives, the sons we educate and the friends we have. To be a male in these days is not always easy, we all know it. Therefore here a little support to your cause, to the boys out there.

Actually, it seems, historically seen, that in times past it was much more fun to be a chap.
The old egyptians would use all sorts of delicious oils, mascara and shaving themselves at all possible and unpossible places. The middle ages started with the myth that a real man does not need to be clean - poor ducks, all those women, who had to put up with smelly beards and feet...
Still, in the 17th century somebody like Louis XIV had it all: Not just a great house, nice tapestries, water in the gardens and a lot of lovely and funny women, but he also was using perfumes ( he was highly partial to Jasmin, did you know that? And as a matter of fact, there are still some of his original orange trees alive in the hothouses of todays Versailles...) and high heels and having glorious baths built in Versailles. Using make up was de rigeur for The Gentleman.
After that, right up to 1968, it was normal for a man to be clean and not to offend eyes and noses of their environment. Now, after a short relapse into the hairy world, it looks like, that grooming  "for him" is back.

Today, so tells us the telly, men are once more invited to take care of themselves. This is true, but also with a little twinkle: I do not believe, that the prediction made by a make-up artist last year, that men will start once again to use rouge and real red lipstick, will come true.... OR?

One thing is not to be avoided: men and their washing habits have become a huge industry - but the truth is, there is no secret. It has all to do with cleanliness and cleanliness again.

So, some thoughts, nevertheless.
First things first: we are all lucky to live in circumstances, which allow us to have a regular shower or bath. So please, make it a habit right from the early ages of manhood, to take a shower daily and use a bar of good smelling soap or douchgel. There are marvelous thing out there, and you can find good products in all prize categories, just shop around a bit. If this is the only beautyregime you follow, it is already great and your glamour factor will go up 56%. Cecil Beaton said, that for him glamour in a man is the "Cleanliness, nothing else". And right he is!

I will not come back on the imperative of brushing our teeth twice a day, this will be hopefully so automatic, that you even have to think about this.
But beware: bad breath is a super killer for elegance and good grooming.

If you smoke, please, for our sake, go regulary to the dentist and have your teeth cleaned. Who wants to kiss a man who smells of cigars or cigarettes? Many a man has lost his credits with bad breath - and it is so easy to do something against it, like drinking much more water ( very often bad breath has something to do with being dehydrated), having a little package of mints in your jacket and/or once in a while brushing your teeth during the day in the washroom of your office. Eating regularly enough is also a good idea...
Bad breath is a great and difficult theme to talk about, there fore it is much easier if I write it here and you just think about it.

Another not negotiable Fact: To wash your hair regulary. One is amazed, if you start to look around clean, shining hair makes all the difference - over all ages. Especially, if you like to wear your hair long, which can be lovely! But if you have long locks, then you have to take care of them. Nothing more revolting than long and dirty hair on a man - brrr! 
On the other hand I cannot understand this fashion of shaving off  a head completedly - I mean, if this is not a sort of political statement or something else, why would you??. It is simply not attractive and the economies you make on  time, shampoos and water is a joke. If your hair thins, then let it be thin, take good care of it and don' t go bald on a voluntary basis. Please.

A real big no-no for a gentleman is dying one' s hair. A man who needs to colour his hair is always suspect - sorry to be so blunt, but here it is. The mixture between Sugar Daddy and pimp comes immediately to the mind of every well educted woman.
If you have white hair, go to the hairdresser and have one of those treatments, which take the yellow shimmer out of white hair - by all means. White hair that is clean and shimmering is a great asset indeed.

Speaking of hair: please please take care of the woody hairs growing in your ears and nose as you grow older - do cut and trim them. Every good barbershop will do this for you at your regular cut. Another major sin: not having a haircut regularly done...And a welltrimmed beard, if it has to be, is neccessarily also a clean beard, which is smelling good and is soft and does not remind people coming in nearer contact with a bushy wildernis with a life of its own...

It is no shame to use some bodylotion on those very dry legs or arms. Please take care of your fingernails  - this comes without saying: not long and clean. All you need is soap, water and a brush. Nothing else. And toenails..... no need to put vernis on, but file them and clean them regularly. Especially the feet suffer quite often. It has never been presumed  that you are a coward  if you will have a pedicure once in a while and take care to slap some cream or oil on those poor old feet as well. Rather on the contrary. Many a loving relationship found its sudden death in poorly maintained feet and their toenails...

Using a good after shave is today quite normal. Even better, when it is discreet and not shouting out loud all over the chef-etage...

And last but not least: having not only clean underwear and socks, but also a clean shirt, which has made some aquaintance with an iron is helpful, as is a jacket, which is not smelling of the pub you spent the evening before or  which is sprinkeled with a lovely coat of whitish dandruff. 
If you get also your shoes right - (so lucky, you do not NEED so many variety as we do and can use shoes for 20 years, if they are well made..)  and clean them properly, than only more thing to be a real gentleman is only one: a wonderful smelling and clean and ironed cotton hankerchief. In case you have to console a weeping princess somewhere.


Fazit: Especially as we all grow older, good or bad mother nature is kinder to you, gentlemen, than she is to us. Most men, when well taken care of and discreetly groomed, are looking better with age. So, take advantage of this unfair fact and give us the pleasure to be proud of you.  Though it is really unfair, that an embonpoint and white hair give you more glamour than it offers for us poor women. For you, gentlemen, the silverfox existence means experience, wisdom and very often also financial security. For us girls it looks simply equal for old age. Mostly.

!

Some thoughts about fashion magazines

What would we do without fashion magazines?
We would be at a complete loss: not the faintest idea what happens in Paris, in London, in Milano and in New York. Full blown catastrophy: So essential to be informed!

Who would be otherwise so easily convinced, that painting your nails in a shade remembering more the glibber of a corpse in stagnat water than of a supposedly embellishing colour, is the utmost of stylishness, if you would not have seen it in all the major papers?
The hold those pages have over us - we all wait for the autumn issues of our favourite fashion magazines with the same impatience as we wait for school to begin again in september - to unveil all the secrets and must-have´s, do´s and dont´s of the upcoming season fall/winter. And every year it is the same stuff we see, the same counsel we take and the same ridiciulous readiness to believe it all.

By browsing for a first "overview" through this years paper harvest I had the distinct feeling once again, perhaps never so clearly expressed, of wondering, WHY do I read that stuff anyhow? Why do I look at those pictures of beautiful and heavily retouched young girls, in outrageous wardrobes, far away from my metro station and lunch cantine?

You will say, that this exactly is the appeal and magic of a good ( and I say good!) fashion magazin - it should make us dream and get creative about who we want to be and also the way we present ourselves to the outer world. (Ok, not very philosophical or intellectual, but then normally intellectuals are rarely well turned out.) It is meant to be an inspiration to the masses. An incentive to go out hunting for a little glamour at Zara´s - where you find the copies of all great inventions boiled down to wearability and affordable prices. A sacrifice on the altar of consumerism: the quality is bad, you throw it out after wearing 4 times and hop, off a new circle starts and our economy is happy and well.  Yesterday I went with my daughter to H&M and, I tell you, the place was buzzing. No crisis in sight, far from it.

Fair enough - let us not discuss this - it is obvious.Everyone of the people there hunting for some style and glamour, all on remote control of the imense fashion machine. Why would those magazines otherwise have such a hugh editorial number and be big bussiness? Why would I buy them all the same?

But to come back to my train of thought: How many times have I laid down a magazine - happens particularly often with french Vogue, which I do not even bother any longer to buy once in a while, so much it gets on  my nerves - with the distinct feeling of looking at a Bilderbuch for big girls, with no what so ever relation to my reality: the way I live, I look, I dream, I think,  I eat, I work - the environment I live in etc etc pp.  Said French Vogue is, in my personal dowdy view, so disconnected from reality  - and I believe also from french reality - that they miss the point totally.

Another interesting fact: For the last 20 years, models have been all about 15 years old and heavily underweight. Now, apparently there is a  new crop of Supermodels out there, in their glamourous 50ies,  selling us the fact, that 50 is the new 30. Hurray!
Just think about the huge  potential group of buyers with well equiped purses and the time at their hands to go out and shop indeed. At least, the beloved glossy pages make us normal people believe, that they do so. And off we go and buy the copie of the copie of the copie of that Galliano dress, which would not be recognizable to all but the insiders of the fashion industry. ( Remember the cool drydown Meryl Streep gave the newcomer Anne Hathaway about the colour "blue" in The Devil wears Prada?)


But to keep things straight: I love to read them all the same - my favourites being English Vogue and american Harper's Bazaar.
The magazines are a lifeline to glamour and an ideal projection of personage.  All of a sudden we are not mothers and cooks and drivers and secretaries and  but all in the grasp of becoming the next grace Kelly and it seems all right and only natural that the Valentino dress for 8000 £ is for us...
So even if we cannot wear almost nothing of the things we see, we go on buying the next issue and will read with utmost interest what is the latest in make-up and fashion for the upcoming season.
 And then go out and do as we like anyway.

As I said, information is all and  the query as old as humanity: Which fur is it this year Darling, Mamut or Seal?

Why I love Autumns

Finally it is autumn - even on the chance to repeat myself: it is my favourite season.
Not only are the days cooler and the skies bluer, the air clearer and the the promise of Christmas coming up, but there is some promise in the air of cosy days and a fire lit at home in the evening.

I always loved this time of year, already as a child. The colours of  the trees, the huge loads of fallen leafs we had to take care of in our garden at home, when all the family was out and about and we had a lot of fun. One of my brothers made huge tents, like indian tippies, where we could hide and play; my other brother threw my little brother and me into the huge mountains of freshly gathered leaves, us shrieking with pleasure. The smell of the freshly worked fields in the countryside. The smell of fresh apples in the cellar, stored there for the winter. The first autumn fog between the trees in the morning, the sun shining through the countless spidernets, glittering with dew. I loved this and miss it a lot in my urban existence.

A propos urban existence: October is also the ideal month for travelling - for example to the lovely and wonderful cities in Europe. Ever been to Venice in october or november? There is a tip, go there! You will love it. Almost no tourists, heavenly weather - not too hot, but sunny, all those stylish and beautifully dressed natives, empty shops and museums and the good small restaurants in the sideways producing the best food you can imagine. Or take Munich - ok, I bore you. Vienna? Great in autumn, I can assure you.  Ever tried Prague? Warzaw? Lisbon? Rome? Stockholm? All you need is a blue sky, slightly fresh temperatures and good company. Well, you get what I mean. On top of all this, the theater is open with the new seasons' programm and most cinemas show the latest films. Go there in the late afternoon and come out again when the day is getting small, buy yourself some maroni and a glas of white wine and prepare for a cosy evening in a good restaurant. Just an idea.

Speaking of travelling: The best season for serious shopping is also the autunm. Choice is abundant,  the weather helps to think about being "dressed" again: finally we can  admit, that elegance is only achievable when you put  clothes ON the body. Being really elegant half-naked in summer, is very very difficult and on the verge of exstinction....
Blessed opaque thights are de rigeur and also a good and wellcut jacket  now comes into its own right. Wonderful cashmere turtle necks will help you throught all the  hours of the day, dressed up or down from 6 am to 6 pm. A pair of chic boots does wonders for elgegance and your mood. In short: The Onion Look is a good one for the differing temperatures outside: just peel on and off what ever you need, to feel warm and stylish.

The Importance of Being Groomed - Mesdames!

The other day I saw in one of the glossy magazines a very serious article about grooming.
There was a happy lady, who had a budget of around 2500 Euros to try everything under the sun to make her more groomed and therefore, hopefully, more happy/attractive/beautiful. The poor girl  had such a terrible schedule for stripping, zapping, perming and colouring, that even a CEO of a major word enterprise would have paled facing those tasks. My sympathies and interest dwindled in due course as  the result of all those guineepig-actions was her affirmation that she would definitively hang on to do  - on a regular base - her "Eyelash Perm". Yes, you read right. Apparently it has to be redone every 6 weeks and you should be prepared to lay down 250 Euros, at least. And then you have that sexy swing in your eyelashes, or better, should have. Perhaps I need spectacles to read more clearly, but it looked like this figure.

Well, I leave this all to your personal preferences and also to your personal taste. Lucky the people who have good genetic eyelashes! One problem less in their life.
And to be fair: I hope for our guineepiglady, that her beauty, or let us say, Essential Grooming Regime (EGR), has in the meantime found some other source than the magazine to pay for her necessities, the simple bare necessities etc. etc.

 I thought all this definitively worth for a serious word about grooming to us girls. After all the saying goes, that you never get a second chance to make a good first impression. So lets work on that and on maintainance.

Nothing new under the sun, that we all need to take a shower/bath regularly, that underware needs to be changed  OFTEN and that a good shampoo does not have to be expensive, but applied regularly. Actually, the opinion goes that the less stuff you smear on yourself, the better your skin will be.
So lets get through the things one by one.

From top to toe and some generalities for fun.
Hair should be glossy, well cut and washed regularly. If you colour your hair, please please take care of those roots - one of  THE Nr.One killerfactor in good grooming. Better to be a silverfox than a horribly dyed middle-aged woman. A good haircut can be expensive, but does NOT need to be redone every two weeks. Actually you can see, if  your hairdresser knows his job, if your hair normally looks even better when washed the first time at home after you have been for a cut and a brushing. If your hair does not live up to your expectations after the visit and first wash, perhaps you should look out for another hairdresser, but not start to pur even more stuff on your hair to make it look like you expect it to look. A good hairdresser will cut your hair for you, and you alone, and not like it is shown in a glamorous magazine under the title "One for all". This reminds me, that I wanted to write a post alone about haircuts... please do remember me..
Back to grooming.

Dandruff on your shoulders is not good. Take care of that, look at your diet and perhaps even go to the doctor, should the problem persist. Very often a change for a gentler shampoo and letting hair dry naturally is enough to get rid of snowy shoulders.
Concerning the grooming of your face, there are many possibilities and in our age one should have slowly slowly found the routie which makes your skin glow and happy, well nourished and clear. Important is the routine, religiously followed  - this is the big secret of good skin, nothing else.
Good grooming does not need too much make up neither - and if you use make up, use it so, that it is your face who looks well and nobody takes you for Winnetou on his warpath. Do take good care of your teeth!!! Very important - regular visits to the dentist are a must and no luxury. As goes for a good maintainance of those eyebrows - quickly done, once you have found the shape which goes well with your face.

Never forget wo take care of your neck... poor old neck is often the stepchild of a grooming regime. But it needs only soap, water, a good cream and a regular "skin polish", i.e. peeling. Does wonder! A perfect peeling also for the body is the good old recipe of some good oil and a cup of sugar mixed and rigorously applied all over your body. If you want, put some essential oils in for fun. Your skin comes out of the shower all soft and clean.

We talked already about washing yourself regularly - a good bar of soap is your best friend in more than one cases. Depilation is also a question of personal preference, but wearing sleeveless shirts in summer make some epilation necessary - shave, wax, whatever makes you more happy.  Same goes for the odd legs... Some people are luckier than others, in any case do not look like a pin-up for "Welcome in the Hairy World"....!A bottle of bodylotion is essential - and a dry brush. Another good way for getting this poor old body  exfoliated and soft. The sugar thing is more practical, as you are cleaned and creamed at the same time....

A word to hands and feet: Having a regular manicure and pedicure is no luxury, but keeps your extremities in good shape. I personally do not like long fingernails, and think that only impeccable lackered colour is worth the maintainancepain on short square fingernails. But this is a personal preference I have and with me painted fingers do last ca 20 hours, so it it not worth th effort and I prefer to buff them into some gleaming softness and put my beloved Dior Creme Apricot  on top for that groomed look. It really works!
Toes should be coloured, at least in summer. So much more fun. No effort to keep the poor old feet groomed, if you buffer them while sitting in your bath and put  also bodylotion on them, Creme Apricot on the nails. Works.

Clean clothing, some little colourcombining and a good-smelling scent, not overwhelming but agreable to seek you out, is another must for good grooming. As are shined  and cared for shoes and if possible, a handbag which may be old, but has from time to time a good coating in Nivea Cream and afterwards a good polish, with a lot of ellbow grease.
Take care of your jewellery, better less than more. If I see pictures out of the 80ies, we all had big earrings and chains and rings and bracelets, with big hair and many colours in our outfits. This is a nono today. If a bracelet, then earrings, if big earrings, than no chains, if chanins, no earrings  - you get the idea of less is more?

All in all, we do not arrive here at the budgetline of  2500 Euros, I am sorry to say. Let's have a look. You need a good bar of soap, a shampoo, some good face cream, a bottle of bodylotion, a scent, some lipstick ( which doubles as rouge), mascara and one good concealer, a scent, toothbrush and paste, a good hairbrush, 2 bottles of  vernis pour l' ongle, one red and one transparent, a buffer and a file, a shaver, a tweezer, a body brush and that is it. The budget line can go from 50 $ to 500$ if you want, but the essential factor is taking care of oneself, having respect for one's features and being kind to ourselves. Time spent in grooming is time well spent: all in a good ratio of effort and result....
AND: Have fun!!!

Autumn

It is really a pity, that I do not have enough leisure for the moment to get all those ideas on paper, respectively getting the post written I would like to talk about. So here just a quick word, so that you do not feel too neglected!

 It is right now the most beautiful time of the year - at least for me: the sky, if it is blue, is really blue and clear, the air is crisp and the trees are getting into a golden light. The days are getting shorter and the nights cooler. You still can have lunch outside in a cafe and get a sunburn, but dinners have to be inside now. People are busy,  but not hectic. The first scent of roasted chestnuts are in the air. Time to start the fire in the chimney and also to start thinking about those Christmas Presents.. not to talk about the cards...! Those of us, who do not have the pictures already selected are in trouble ( I for one...). Every year Christmas comes as a surprise, it seems. Nobody has been seeing it getting up on the horizon latest from the first of september...

The Opera in Munich in early octoberlight

But back to Autumn - I do not know, why I love it, but I do, always have. It is also the ideal time for city traveling, visiting friends and going to museums to see the just opened new exhibitions. Have a stroll and look through the galleries and then also through the shops.  In an ideal world, we would all have enough time to stroll more and see more beautiful things around us. I cannot say it often enough, how important it is for the soul, to see and do beautiful things. Beauty is essential for a happy life.


And to be a bit mondaine: the nicest thing is that one starts again to get dressed as one should be. Elegance is coming back and with it the feeling of wanting to be well groomed and in a good mood is essential. So off ou drag yourself to the hairdresser and get those boots you have been contemplating already for the last 6 weeks.
And not to start about scent again...

Oh, I really need some more time to write some posts...

Why don´t you...? 9

Some new food for thought!

Why don´t you:
- do more "Kitchen-Dinners"?
Not the latest newest thing to do, but always great fun and not too difficult to organize. Just make sure, that the kitchen does not look like a battlefield and that there is enough space for everybody to sit comfortably. The big advantage: the poor cook does not have to slave away alone, but can enjoy the talk while carving the chicken...

- do more "Music at Home"?
Just invite some good friends over, open a bottle of wine and get copies of songs all of you now and off you go. If you have a piano and one friends who knows to play it, even better. Great fun and after an initial shyness the most entertaining evening you will have passed in months, loads of laughter and fun guaranteed...

- do more "Little Travels"?
Even just a day away from your ordinary day to day life is refreshing. Going to Paris for lunch with a friend sounds complicated, but is not the end of the world: Just jump in the train and here you go.  Or to London for buying some tea and having a sip with another friend over there? If you plan well ahead tickets are affordable and the exitement of being alive and seeing the world gets you going for another 2 months in the daily treadmill. If you can stay overnight by all means do: it is a real break and feels much longer than only 24 hours. Proof that time is definitifely "relativ"...

- do more "Tea Parties"?
Even less work that an kitchen dinner, it is the ideal way of spending a lazy sunday afternoon in the company of good friends. The advantages are serveral: not only is the timeframe generally a shorter one than for a dinner, children are welcome, so there is no problem with babysitters, food preparations are minimal, as you in the last of all events can rush out and buy some cake, toast and butter. Some juice for children and really good quality tea in huge quantities for the adults make a feast for every one without the stress of formal entertaining with a 8 course dinner. Highly recommended also for inviting new aquaintances - just the right thing to decide whether you will be friends or stay better on a more formal footing...

- do more "Operas and Concerts"?
Get some friends together and organize between yourselves the concerts and operas you would like to see. This is a good incentive to go out to hear good music and do it in good company. Much more fun, than sitting in your pijamas alone at home with a CD or, even worse, alone through a Wagner Opera, without anybody to comment on the horrible soprano or share with you the  desperate glas of bubble in the intervall...

Women and Tears

You will wonder what a weird title this is - it came to me - as always I have the best ideas in the early morning - when I had to get up today. Loads of checklists in my head and then, this popped up at 6.30, to be exact. Not that I felt tearful - more tired and in need for another 2 hours of undisturbed sleep perhaps, but otherwise in good mood and form. Having started to work again has done wonders to my "Morale".

But back to the essentiels on tearful women.
First, it is important to know that we women have only two ways of crying - or out of sheer misery, helplessness and compassion  - or, out of pure rage and the bloody feeling of being powerless.
There is a third, very rare way: crying as manipulation - but beware, this is a high art, not to be mastered easily and highly dangerous to employ - it is indeed very difficult to look beautiful when you cry and the effect of smeared mascara all over your cheeks may not help you in your quest. It is wise to be aware that at least after 17 a tearswollen face is not attractive.

One more and important thing to be aware of is also, that men in general do not know how to behave when a woman is crying. If a child cries, it is easy -  men start to utter bearlike sounds and we females get motherly feelings, go down on our knees and try to consolate the little person. If a child is miserable, we react immideately - child -tears-compassion: in a second,  the reaction is on. Not to be confused with the almost icy reaction towards a tantrum in the supermarket...

If a woman is crying, male mankind normally gets very unconfortable. It is more than rare to find a grown adult male, who is capable of staying put, stay calm and quiet and who does not instinctively  try to inhibit the female counterpart of letting liters of salty water flowing down his shirt.
The normal reaction is bewilderment, uneasiness and  an urge to flee the premises.
Another reaction is the famous angry shut-down to business mentality: stop it, nobody is impressed by this show. Both things are the wrong reaction, messieurs.
Ideal would be to endure it while it lasts and then move on to some nice other topic, giving the wet producer the feeling, that it is ok and we do not talk about this any longer. Believe me, there is a lot of relief to be found for both sides in this attitude.

But back to female tears. I think we are lucky - having this legal way of letting of steam, which otherwise would end up in suicide or manslaughter - depending which kind of tears you are on.

It is common knowledge that having a good cry is one of the best therapeutic things to indulge in, cheap and feasible whereever you are. Best alone for a real therapeutic effect, or only in very good and beloved company. Place and time do count as well. A good place could be in your car, at the parking of the supermarket or shopping malls - nobody looks at you there, and you are not completedly alone. Or your bed - but this is dangerous, as it can be a long session, especially during the little hours of the night, where the mind is randomly picking horrors and fears and indulge in them. But one advantage: a foolproof way of falling asleep - a little cry and hop, off you go into Morpheus´arms like a baby.

All that said: too much crying makes your eyes wrinkled and baggy - so please try to remember, that laughing is much better for you, your face and your environment. Anyway - both are so close, that it is always much more fun to laugh. Even in the worst circumstances.