The Eye has to travel, Documentary, 2012

I have been confined to my home for a bad back - which has the great advantage, that I can really do nothing else than watch telly, read and sleep. Actually I sleep and think a lot. Yesterday I finally watched a DVD which has been waiting for my attention already quite a while. I think the film was just showed very shortly here in Belgian cinemas, but it is a must for every style conscious person, who happens to be interested in beauty and art and fashion.

The film is quite short, a little bit over an hour, and is a documentary about the "empress of fashion", Diana Vreeland - the women who was for decades editor in chief for American Harper's Bazaar and then American Vogue. It was her who made those magazines into some form or art, not only talking about fashion, but about society and fashion, about stars, new technologies and everything a wide awake woman was and should be interested in.

For her style was something which came with self-education and curiousness for life, not only throwing money at interior designers and fashion popes. The most interesting bits are of course the moments when we hear her speak in an interview she gave already in her 80ies in 1983.  What glamour, personality and what a sharp mind. I was really flabbergasted and got a rush of regret, not to have lived in times like that - for  me the 60ies are perhaps not the ideal adult time zone to have lived in, but the 2 decades before would have been worth inventing a time machine right now on the spot.
All she says has to do with all we live, still today. Off course she is the master of exaggeration - not all is to be taken literally, which sometimes people don't get. "The eye has to travel" - indeed, imagination is something of a wild animal which has to be tamed and then used for bring more fun, more conscience of beauty and more longing in our lives.  Exaggeration for her was the instrument to highlight those  of years gone and years to come. If you note her clothes in the interview, they are always the most simple cuts and colours - nothing loud there. The background is full of colour and fun and wisdom. Today, much of what she did as an editor would not be possible, simply out of economical reasons: who will ship 500 orchids to the Arctic for a single photo shoot?

I watched the film with my daughter, who is in her teens and not particularly - yet - interested in fashion - but she got the essence of the film: Beauty matters and the live we want to live is the life we have to create our selves. In times of internet-shopping and floods of information, cheap heaps of cheap clothes, the art is to source for the things which MEAN something to YOU. Dare it, be somebody,  be yourself, the best self you can be, not just a weak copy of a some magazine's make over story. Dare to be somebody of your own. That is her message, in a nutshell.
If you can get your hands on a copy, watch it.

Interior Decoration

In a next life, I will decorate houses in the dozen. Not just clippings out of magazines and a house in my mind, but the real thing - in the country, in town, at the beach, on a mountain and one in France, too. Preferably an old winemaking chateau. Or better an old and desperate country house in England, or Bavaria?

Interior Decoration is something which never bores me, never. I just feel elated when I get hold of a good interiors decoration magazin, can snuggle up the sofa and have a good read. After this I am refreshed and would like to start right away - but alas, there are nor will be all those houses to provide for all those pleasures. One cannot have it all: the dreams and then the reality..
So I go on doing it in my mind and until now have not been bored with this neither. The advantage: It involves no costs ( unless in the foreseen future we have to pay to have a right to think for ourselves?) and all is possible - you have always to see the bright side of life.
I have changed houses many times in my life, but almost ever I have lived in nice places. (A dear friend told me once, that I would owe him a new addressbook, if we would keep up the speed of moving - his M-Page was full in a mo!) Not big houses or appartements sometimes, but nice. In my childhood I had the privilege to grow up in a big house with much space and a huge garden. There were not enough rooms for each of us, but it did us no harm to share. I had also the privilege to see and take in many old country houses, some of them now altered unrecognizably, some still intact - with the oldfashioned courtousy and Gastfreundschaft which is a rare relict of olden golden days.

When I started to study, I was lucky as well: in Munich I lived always in a nice neighbourhood, in Nymphenburg, in Schwabing, then more or less on the Maximiliansstrasse and at last in the upcoming quarter of the Johannisplatz. I have always felt well in my flats, as small as they were - and I enjoyed to live in a WG  ( Wohngemeinschaft - shared flat) - even if this meant that the chap living with Lilli and me never cleaned the bathroom, considering this to be a girls job. It also meant, that my expensive face cream was shared as was the milk I bought. But the company was great and the fun we had together is unforgettable. The start of a wonderful and still ongoing friendship.
All my rooms and interiors seem to look the same - I have very early developped a style of my own, being more "mine" as the years advance and I see the world. Or at least I hope.

Entree of House Wittgenstein in Vienna

Recently I get more and more interested in modern art and architecture - most of it is still a mystery to me, but I could imagine to live in a very modern and streamlined house - but only with my own furniture and my own way of arranging it. It could look very interesting indeed. The idea is not mine - alas. I picked it up most certainly in the fotographs of the interiors of the villa Ludwig Wittgenstein built for his sister at the beginning of the 20th century in Vienna. One of the most refined interiors I have ever seen - timeless, elegant and without any dust and historic ballast. Shame, that the house nowadays is only to be visited in its empty shell - almost impossible to imagine the interiors as they were meant to be as such. ( for  more information about this marvelous house, please have a look in wikipedia and also on www.wien.info/sights) . The pictures of this post are all found in Google.

Why don' t you....? Miscellaneus...

 Yes, several things:

- Cut your hair yourself? No need to pay huge amounts of money for some fringes and "degradees" - start slowly and get lost.

- Buy a long evening dress at Zara, H&M or Mango - great stuff out there, for very affordable money. After all it is mad to spend huge amounts of good cash if you do not walk the Red Carpet in Cannes on a regular basis. And then the girls there always rent their clothes....

- Find a seamstress ( and then please share the adress...) and get going to design your own dresses? Look out in magazines and make a lookbook for yourself alone.

- Promise never again to buy coloured loo paper? White is the colour to have. Basta.

- Give 5/10/20/ $/ £/ Euro for a good cause in your area ( easy to be found out if you ask...) and once a month give an afternoon to help out there. You know where the money goes to and the feeling of doing something good will do you good as well.

- Think about purchasing a real carpet? They should be as big as you can squeeze in your living room and not, I repeat, not 1 meter long and 50 cm wide. Go to auction houses, there are thrown out there at a prices which make me weep.

- Start painting and pottery and gardening in your sparetime instead of going only to the gym? So much more refreshing and food for thought too.

- Invent a new signature dish and cook it at least once a week? I learned only late in life that I have a son who for years and years lives on Nutella,bread and milk but loves Curries in all varieties. Off we go!

- Promise NOT to use Botox. It ALWAYS shows.

- Use organic oils to moisturize your face instead of  super expensive face creams? So much more natural and cheaper - and great value in skin maintainance too. Go in an organic shop and have a look for Macadamia or Sesame oil, Hazelnut or Wheat germ. Mix your own stuff.

- Laugh more?

- Hear  your old Charles Aznavour and Yves Montand Cds on a rainy sunday afternoon while cleanining up your desk?

- Sleep with open windows and let the light and birds wake you up at dawn - use the time as "Me-Time" before the rest of the house has to get up. ( Ok, better advice for summer, but until then I will forget).

- Throw out all bedlinnen made of polyester? Gasthly stuff. Nobody wants to sleep in it. Money is no excuse ( I only say: Ikea...). This is a horrid mistake in good taste.

- Edit your summer clothes, now, as the winter months have started.
Get rid of everything, which does not fit/please/talk to you any more, is not in pristine condition and make ROOM for thought, not old clothes!

- Allocate Beauty in all its forms a much more prominent place in your life? Every day of your life counts.

Anyway, your life and happiness lies in your own hands.

Colours and Rooms 2 - Thoughts about Dining Rooms

So I allow myself the pleasure here to chat to you about favourite colours for several rooms. No need to agree with me, but bare with me the pleasure of thinking about it.

One thing is important and experience has taught me one universal truth: different countries have different needs in colours for  the interior decoration of a house. The colours which work well in Portugal or in Turkey do not easily work in Belgium - the light is different, as is the climate and the "feeling " of the place.

Here in Brussels colours are naturally more muted and calmed down. The sky is flat and most of the time a nondefinitive sluggish colour of grey. Rare are the days with clear blue skies and white clouds - what I miss about Bavaria...  No wonder that the shop "Flamant" is all over the place with greys and browns, blacks or mushy whites combined with wood and a lot of silverish stuff.
When  I arrived 10 years ago from Turkey in Belgium, the yellow striped sofa did not fit into the feeling of the country any longer. I have since changed the furniture tones more to muted terracotta, soft greens and some creamy whites. Strong, bright colours do not work in this climate - they can look out of touch. Strong dark colours are another thing - friends of mine have a dark red diningroom, which is lovely and cosy, definitively made for long dark winter evenings and one can wonderfully imagine the celebrations at Christmas in this jewel coloured, cosy room.




Provisiorial dinning room

But then only fools do not change their mind: I have painted my new dining room in a bright  Canari yellow, with bright yellow curtains and a red carpet. And it is nice as well. I have a dark grey stone floor and big white windows, which pulls it all together. The dining table has been dressed in a soft terracotta coloured  tablecloth with a wildly flowered greyish table square on top. Sounds adventurous, but is nice and until now we have had many a wonderful meal in this room and the children use it as the place to do their homework, when they come home in the dark afternoons from school.
It has the big advantage of having sun in the morning, so it doubles in the true sense in being a classical breakfast room, small, square and friendly, full of light and  generating a happy athmosphere and/or a square smallish cabinet of a dining room in the evening, ligthed by candle light and only a soft lamp in one of the corners.

Always remember, please: NO light from above in a dining room. It makes people always look sick and tired. Better have two or three lamps in different places and lots of candles - so much more becoming to the teint and putting a sparkle in your guests eyes.

Another lovely combination for dining rooms are soft old rose tones and or a muted green with soft rosecoloured curtains. Again thought out for eating in the evening - there is rarely a colour which is so beautiful in daylight and electric light as the right shade of pink. Many people are afraid of using it, but in the right combination with furniture, curtains, flowers and porcelain it is hard to beat.

Naturally many of you will prefer the current fashion of having  a very high tech and cool dining area. Not everybody of us has the luxury or (with the kitchen being too small) the need of having a room or designated area in our homes for the purpose of eating alone.

Funnily enough the dining room is a quite recent invention - until the beginning of the 19th century, i.e. 200 years ago, people used to eat in the place they just where. A small table was brought in and set out to eat where it was convenient. The last  left-overs of this attidute today are the hotel's "Room Service" and, more ironically reverting to olden times, having your dinner in front of the telly.
Dining rooms came up when the upper middle classes became more influential and more keen on displaying their riches and newly aquired tastes and habits.
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Sometimes a dining room seems a waste of space especially in times where only few of us still have personal to wait on us - good bye, Downton Abbey..... So, in the sense of practiciality and also common sense,  there should always be a second or third use to them. The fact of having a huge table in a huge room, as we can still see in may old houses nowadays, was also the pure necessity of making space for big families and their doings. Dining tables do still today double as working tables, to do your homework, sewing or sweating over puzzles, playing monopoly and sitting around with a cup of tea and happily chatting away. I have seen the most beautiful dining table set in a small room full of books - unforgettable athmosphere.

But also very stylish and coming back in fashion is having kitchen dinners - so much fun and so beautiful. But about those more in a post about kitchens - I am thinking already about it.

 Back to some more colour ideas....
Some other very chic chic combinatioon of colours for a dining room is cappuchino brown, white and a third colour - you can choose whatever you think would go well together. Or a simple white room, dark wood furniture and lovely flowers. Or a dove blue with grey and cream... the combinations are endless, just make sure that you do not use more than three dominant colours get the light right, have a pair of candles and some flowers on the table.
Then you need only  a few lovely smiling faces sitting around a good pot of stew, fresh baguette and a good glas of red wine to be perfectly happy.
Sure one of the things you do not need to be rich to achieve.

Why don't you....

This time of the year brings us back to stay put at home and invite some friends over in the dark evenings.

So, why don't you...

- invite a couple of friends for playing society games: Good old charades are almost lost to human memory and even a session of very competitive Monopoly opens up new horizons and traits of character. Provide some good wine, enough water and a huge tablett full of sandwiches ( not for nothing the Earl of Sandwich invented the stuff while gambling away and not having time to get up for dinner), or hotdogs, or Brezen with butter - something easy and simple to eat out of your hands, just with a papernapin around. Place all of it on a small table and let people help themselves.

- start to do a huge 1000 piece puzzle on your dining table. Just leave it there and every time one of you and your family passes by, there is the temptation of having a look and finding the right piece. Work in progress.

- dress your house or flat up for winter. You can change the covers for your sofa to a more cosy texture with some throws and cushions on top, hanging those thicker curtains to help keep out the cold, think about getting an artificial fire going in a corner of the room and use a lovely warm scented candle in the evening to make the house smell good of joys to come.

- put your flowers in a context of winter - with bare pieces of wood, found in the woods when on a walk, or with the flowers which are right now in season - no tulips now, please!!

- revive the wonderful tradition of making a "Jour Fixe" - almost lost tradition of keeping  an open house for friends and aquaintances on a certain day in the month - let's say every last saturday of the month from 16.00 - 20.00 during the winter months. People need no special inviation but get in september an ivitation with the dates until end of  february and can come if they like. Your job is to be at home, have enough tea, water and white wine at hand, some sandwiches and huge bowls of nuts, olives and what ever comes to your mind. And then relax and look forward to your visitors, may it be many or just a few. If you have a cosy home, people will love to come and look forward to those evenings once a month. And if they bring a new face, even better!

Colours and Rooms 1

I have moved house several times in my life, and fear, that those moves are not over yet.

One of my great regrets is that I always had to live - that is, from my 19th year - in rented houses and appartments, so that the feeling of being "chez moi" never could sink in really really deep. I wonder how it feels? Must feel nice though...
But I do not complain, as I am very near to house heaven right now in my new abode here in Brussels. It is coming slowly together and I have tremendous fun in choosing colours and curtains - in a small way and even smaller budget, but all the same.

At home, in Bavaria, my parents, and especially my mother was most indulgent in letting me and my brother Gotthard live out our dreams of interior decorations - in a sort, she was "happy that we did it". We were polishing floors, painting rooms and doors, discussing houses and concepts, studiying the Villa Wittgenstein in Vienna, looing through books without end and hearing Caruso while dreaming up THE necessary ideas of making our house and home beautiful. I was feeling as happy as could be in those years. I still live on them now.

 I remember distinctly deciding a day, that the guest loo in the ground floor was in dire need of being done up - so I went to the villages chemists, bought a small sack of pigments for a really small sum f money, made my mother drive me to the next little town to buy some paint and off I went, happily renovating the guest loo. There were some things I could not change, but I changed the mirror for a nicer one which I had found in the house, my mother got inspired too and sew some garmets to cover a hitherto plain wooden  table, which afterwards looked so much more pretty and welcoming than ever before. I painted the space around the little sink with oilproof paint and the door and the window in a gleaming new white: we had a framboise coloured loo, white and lovely doors, a display of white kleenex, some new soap and fresh white guesttowels piled up - and that was it.

I still do admire my mother for her nerve. If one of my children would start to do my house up in their sort of idea of being chic and elegant, I would most probably go ballistic and get most certainly horribly protective about my home. My mother was more the type if joining in, with great fun and following our lead. We had a lovely home, believe me.

I only late had a room for my own - I was 17 I think and I painted it in a first go in a sky blue, later then in a deep and warm peach - more tending to terracotta, if I think about it. I asked one of my other brothers to drive me to Ikea and bought a lovely little sofa. Mami made me simple white cotton curtains and I got the old iron bed down from the attic -  today my youngest son sleeps in it. I loved my room at home.

My rooms as a student in Munich were always nice and simple - and as G. says, looked "always the same" - I suppose, my house now here, 20 years later, looks all the same again.

When I moved to Portugal, we restored a rented appartment and painted the whole flat in a deep yellow, unheard at the time in Lisbon. There it was the habit of painting rooms generally always in white, because of the heat, I suppose.  And, I do admit, it looks very beautiful with the 18th century Azulejos, blue and white tiles on the walls and an ox-blood red tiled floor. But I felt more at home with yellows - remembered me of baroque austrian walls and all.

After that,  my colour choices have been decided by landlords ever since - until now. I have reverted to all the colours of the rainbow - very un-chic in the current times of belgian colourschemes like taupe, brown and off white in the now famous Style Flamand. Which can be very elegant, I admit, I was there at the Sablon with friends only yesterday and am always impressed in the sheer scale of presentation of a full blown decoration scheme - "from the cradle to the grave" -  to be found there. No need to have ideas of your own. It is place for pilgrimage for all coming to Brussels and I pop in, whenever I have time to know what is going on.

But as the weather is already grey and darkish, I somehow want more colour for my own home and have painted "my little hut" in bright yellows and greens. Until now, I think it is wonderful and cosy.

As you now me by now and might well imagine, I have always ideas about interiors. Will write a post soon with some ideas about colour schemes for rooms. Give me just some time....

Film: "AMOUR", by Michael Haneke, 2012

It has been a long time that I have been in a cinema at all - and on top of it to see a film, which really moved my heart and made me think hard.

This film is a french/german/austrian coproduction and has received a Golden Palm in the Cannes Film Festival this year. I suppose  this was more for the fact that three legends of  The French Film, Jean-Louis Trintignant , Emmanuelle Riva and Isabelle Huppert  have been starring in it and we all know, that France is one of the last countries left, which knows what their artists are worth.

This film is different. First of all the story could be told in one sentence: Old couple faces death. Not normally a sujet which will fill the cash boxes. But then the cinema was pretty full. And very silent ( might have helped that in the cinema I went there was no popcorn available). It is a very quiet and slow movie, painfully slow sometimes, not, as we have to get used to more and more, running and anticipating,  leaving you breathless only by watching it...
Here feelings  and thoughts are expressed, often without words, but so clear and so courageous that you stomach twists and turns. Impossible not to be drawn into the  story, into the relationship between those two old people. To start thinking about it. Then the relationship with their daughter, here Isabelle Huppert:  a mirror to all of us, showing selfishness and helplessness in the face of the truth. Impossible not to react to that too.

I am not sure, who of the both main charactes/actors are more to be admired - Emmanuelle Riva takes the plunge in looking the part - and when she is proud and haughty, the fear and helplessness is there as well to be felt and seen. Jean Louis Trintignant fights despair and memories but keeps the stiff upper lip - and this will slip as well in a moment of letting go.. Both are old in reality too, which gives this film a tone of truth, which is heartbreaking. If there ever was a need to prove that old age has its own courage, there it is. There is hope for us all. Inspite of everything.
What stays is dignity, independance, despair and joy, clearness and awe. A beautiful film. And not for the faint hearted.

News

Hello to you all!

It has been quite a while, that I have been on this blog and sorry for not having written anything for such a long time. But now it looks, that slowly slowly I am coming back...

In the meantime, my oldest son has left for university, the new house starts to feel like home for the "leftover-children" and me and even the dogs have found their way around.The fat squirrel, that lives in my backyard has got used to us people and has eaten all the hazelnuts from all the three trees, which I have. Right now the chestnuts are on the menu.

Today I had a lovely day off, working in my garden and having enough time to think about this blogs and actually felt that I miss writing! Between the need of finding new curtains ( I am getting there as well), the daily bussiness in the office and the other daily necessities of a family there is pretty little time to write about my usual nonsense.

During the summer I was in Bavaria and have visited the old house - there will be some pictures of how it looks now soon on this blog. And I have heard of some old and dear friends, which makes me think about the importance of staying on touch, even if it is only once a year. Another thing I was contemplating was the great possibilities this rentree has brought in the sense of fashion and the need to sort out some stuff right away - how about the new coats and which kind of boots does a girl need this year..
Then THE DECORRATION of the house - so exiting! I have gone wild on colours and have once and for all decided, that I go with colour. No greys and creams in my house - at least not fot the next years coming. There is yellow, lots of green and some very nice terracotta red in defiance of the dull belgian sky!

Well, all this just so say, that this handbag still has some content to come up with.
I'll keep you posted!

Jola

There is silence on this blog - house moving!

I have been moving house - right now I sit here between the last boxes in a living room, which looks more like a jumble sale, that something I have been imagining for the last weeks. But I am here and happy - on top of it it has been a glorious blue days here in Brussels, blue blue sky during the whole week and the garden, of which I am now a pride keeper, is in full glory. In the morning I totter out in the garden, coffee cup in hand and walk a little around to see how things are. I feel at home.

Sleeping in a new place is always an ordeal, as human beings are such creatures of habit. Must be some old genetic inheritance, this not sleeping sound in new premises. But it gets better and better. I have made already aquaintance with a red squirrel, who is everyday doing its round of checking the ripness of the hazelnuts, doing the most acrobatic moves and once in a while throw a glance at me and then gets on with the bussiness. And I know already the place in the Chestnut tree, where the doves like to sleep. The dogs are happy as well, sitting in the sun in the garden.

Utter luxury is a roofed terrace, right next to the kitchen. We have been eating out everyday, as the weather is going on and on with blue skies and  lovely temperatures in the evenings - have been sitting out more times already here than in the last years together!

The funny thing is, how the house has a will of its own in getting furnished. You will laugh, but I am very convinced that houses have their own personalities and it is normally no good to go against them. This house here has a very earthy feel and a sort of easy going elegance. Not a city elegance, but more countryhouse elegance. It is not rustic, but not urban neither. My furniture feels at home. The pictures as slowly filling the few walls I have, as most of them are windows. Curtains and colourschemes take shape in my head all alone, it is no hard work, but great great fun.

It will take some time, but one room after the other will find its voice. And then the more human voices of happy children, guests and a lot of music should make it simply a Happy House.

Why don't you...

start having fun with summer in the city? You could for example..

- spend the summer holidays at home: No hustle-bustle in long traffic jams, no overrun planes with screaming infants, no crammed beaches,  but a quiet life in town, money to go eating out, to the cinema and evening spent with friends on the terrasse doing the odd BBQ.  No traffic jams, people nice and relaxed... Cheaper, calmer, more comfortable - your own bed, your well known supermarket around the corner and the possibility to do whatever you like!! Going to Paris for a day? Off you go. Going for a walk at the beach? Off you go. Sleeping until noon? Off you go. And so on and on.... By far the most comfortable way of spending holidays I can imagine.

- have a new haircut? Change is in the air! What is nicer for the girl about town as the sensing of the "rentree" slowly creeping up in August? It is now, where all the glossy magazines bring out their autumn/winter issues, with all the "new" stuff coming fresh from the pintshop. So be prepared... And, not to forget, during the summerholidays your hairdresser will be not stressed and will have time to discuss this new "you" and give you a VIP treatment. As you have not spent those 600 Euros for a plane ticket, throw in the odd manicure as well. Luxury!

- have a first look through the shops for the Fall collections, especially if your size is quickly sold out. Go with a friend and have fun in trying on everything you might find interesting or quirky. Then don't buy, but go home, sleep a night and consider if this money well spent? A better investment than buying the 54th sun hat or overcharged swimming costume in the overcrowded holiday resorts, where you out of sheer boredom will spend money on junk you will never ever wear once you are back at home in reality.

- work during august? Sounds odd, but is fun. The offices are calmer, the lunch breaks can be longer and there is most probably all the time in the world to reorganise your desk and have all up to date when the storm starts on the 2nd of september. My collegue and I did a lunch spree to Ikea and came back full with plants and made our office look like a jungle. Fun!

- change the rhythm of every day life: No cooking, but a good brunch. An afternoon off in town, alone. No ironing for 2 days in a row ( believe me, what a difference!). Trying new fruits and vegetables. Make the children cook. Have a pijama day. Read in the garden. Write a letter - oh yes, please! Do things differently, have a look from another point of view, get out of the trample pfad of the daily treadmill.

Most important of all is to find time to slow down. Let the other search for entertainment and change far away and come back exhausted from the stress of having fun and "the time of their lives". Mostly crap anyway.

Middle Age? Middle Age!

Weekends are not very relaxing lately. I have too many things going on at the same time and little time to spend on myself. Some time ago I was invited for a party to celebrate a wedding. I knew the happy couple not so well, but knew a good old friend of mine would be there and off I went - being far too tired and not at all in the mood for partying. But then, one has to celebrate, when the occasion arises, no? Off I went, with the good shoes and a dress which has seen slimmer times, but did still fairly well. I had lovely food, good conversation, good music to dance and especially the best time sitting with my friend in the corner of the so-called bar, sipping coffee and chatting away wildly about the new colours for her kitchen, the pros and cons for curtains in a small room and the  plans to do a visit to the "Gardens of England" sometime in the next 35 years, as long as we can still totter along without those gashtly little helps to walk.

And there and then it dawned to me: I am happily settling down in Middle Age! Let the others get married and do the dancing, I look for comfort and good company! I do not want to dance until my poor feet cannot walk another 3 steps and I am so out of breath that the heart attack seems imminent. I rather smoke a cigarette and have the second coffee and talk about the latest art exhibition in Venice(which I unfortunaltey could no see, but had read about) and the enlightment that I will not need any longer to go to the Seychelles to have a good holiday. British Isles and austrian mountains will do for me, thank you very much. And what is nicer than to sit on your comfortable chair and watch the others around you doing the young thing? The anxious look a woman displays, when she would like to dance but nobody is asking her? No, thank you.

In the end, it is easy. Middle Age is still described as the hard part of life. Not true. The hard part is definitively being young and having to find your way around, accepting that hard work lies before you, most probably you will have to change jobs for x times in your life - with the probability of doing something for the pure need to sustain your family and not for pleasure - and no security for a happy pension in sight. Most probably you will get divorced once in your life time - statistically at least. Before that you will have to find THE  mate, who will be most promising in relation to fun, sex, love and friendship, children and then also the pension plan, all in this order. First things first.

The hard part of Middle Age is to accept that there are many thing you will not do any more.
You will not loose those 13 kilos and have a body as you had in your twenties (and you thought you were overweight then!!!) - unless you get a fulminant cancer and die. Not a slimming cure which appeals to me. And your hair is going to be thinner, your patience will wear much quicker out with bores and unkind people, you will know what the worth of money is and what it is worth to take up with to have it. You will think twice. You will make fewer plans and stick to them much more, because you know, that it will be worth it.  I for one have at least two big projects up my sleeves, besides furthering my working career and accompanying the children into a hopefully optimistic future. But there will be space for my own things - and  - God, good genes and modern medicines willing - I have some 40 years in front of me which I intend to use wisely and full of joy and fun.

In your old friends you know what you have - you have come to love them for their lovely sides and can manage not to get upset by their borish and childish parts - let them be and get a life. Changing other people is an idea of young people, which always will go wrong.
Essential insight: Learn to be happy in your own company, which will make you the best company for others, because you do not expect nothing but the pure fact of being there and having a good time.

It is such a relief!!  Welcome in good old middle age! Welcome to the happy few who have understood this fact and are not trying to dress a mutton as lamb or have to prove that being a rebel is cool ot do have to change husbands or wifes for the same model, but 27 years younger. How exhausting. Welcome to those who have shifted their interest in life from a battle with the haircolour to the exiting game of good, and I mean really good, conversation.

I will know look more at this new found feeling of contentment. Curious what will come out of that. Great expectations? Falling in the trap again?

My dear old mother in her infinite wisdom said to me the last time we met: You know, the only thing that really matters is that you are in good health and have four healthy children. All the rest should not bother your. Go on do your stuff and be happy.

Clever old mummy - do admit!

It is already JUNE!

It is the first of june - and theoretically we should be in full blown summer. But, as it looks this weekend will be about 10 degrees. Well. We shall have to make to do... But last week end we spent dining on the terrasse and sitting outside in the evening and chatting away, being fumed in by our neighbours active BBQ activities.  The dogs were mostly hanging around like dead flies or lying flat on their bellies to cool down...

But back to reality: Tonight I will go to a party for the Diamond Jubilee of Queen Elizabeth II - great idea, even if I do not know what exactly to expect. She is a great lady - has been working for the last 60 years without having a life for herself. I think this deserves respect, even if you are not a Royalist.

Other big news is, that I have a child doing his BAC - a first  child finishing school is a big change, I can tell you. I can hardly imagine, how life will feel, when he will be away at university. But then, this is normal and I am afraid, that I will have no patience to suffer the empty nest syndrom....

Will keep you posted.
Have a lovely beginning of the summer!!
Jola

Les Parfums de Rosine, Paris

Well. If you had ever did have doubts of going to Paris on May, I can set your mind not at a rest. It is beautiful, fresh, overwhelming, funny and utterly charming. Even surreal - inspite of all the tourists running around sweating and NOT dressed, alost not washed. Paris can stand it and it feels like an old lady who has seen it all and just shrugs her left shoulder and goes on with the business of beauty. It does not matter. Yesterday I was on the way to have dinner with dear old friends and spent hours in the taxi at 6pm, not a good idea. Passing by the Arc de Triomph I saw a young,  radiant japanese couple, sitting in the sun, she in her bridal merengue dress and he next to her on the bench and it was just charming.....

But to those latest musts for a Parisvisit! Getting married is not yet on the list. Scent is!!!

"Les Parfums de Rosine" is a delightful little shop in the right hand corner of the garden, right in the back, of the Palais Royal in Paris.

Actually my friend Susanne has discovered it and since a while has been a faithful follower of those magnificent scents - all around roses! But she is a lucky girl, every scent on her smells divine and we others around stay in awe of her natural ability to pick out the most marvelous scents on the market. I wonder, why nobody has - until now! - discovered her talent.

It has now been already a while, that "Roses" do have a great come-back in scents and even skincare. There are several "roses" on the market right now, in all sorts of disguises. I like, I have to confess, the roses of Frédéric Malle and the ones here, of Rosine.

Mademoiselle Pauy, fountain of patience

It is nice to know, that Les Parfums de Rosine are indeed not a new invention - Jean Patou created in 1912 a perfume for his daughter, "Rose de Rosine" - a classic niche scent. Then it became quiet about the firm and the revival started a couple of years ago.

When I am in Paris, time is scarce and has to be filled in with all the things I want to do and see. But in this case, time was not an issue. The lovely and very kind saleslady had all the patience of the world to sniff everthing with us through, we took our time and had a good chat about ingredients and impressions - all things important in choosing a scent and an essential part in the pleasure involved doing so. No hushing and pressing on to buy something - a clever way of making the customer long to come back!



Next time you are in Paris, by all means pop into the little gem of a shop in the galeries of the Palais Royal...
And next time, when I am in Paris I shall have to go the the little shop we discovered in the Rue Richelieu de Patricia de Nicolay, with all of those gorgeous scents of her.... No rest for the wicked!

Nancy Mitford: Novels and other books

Favourite novels and comfort reading - shortest possible description of a great passion of mine: Nancy Mitford and her work.

And then shortly behind, all the Mitford family - they are a bunch of very different people. The only brother died too early, but would have been as interesting as his 5 sisters, I am sure.
Nancy is the oldest of the siblings and started early to write to earn some money - she always suffered under the fact, that she never attended a school, but was taught at home, which means, she read the library up and down and did little else. She started to become a real writer when she moved to Paris, out of love - and stayed there ever after, even after the love of her life, the "Colonel" in her most famous  novel, did marry somebody else. They settled down for a cosy friendship and she went on to love Paris and buy dresses at Christian Dior.
What I like in her novels is the depiction of the high society in England and France, preWWII and in the 1950ies and 60ies - too blissfull to not know. Duff Cooper, among other things english Ambassador to Paris in the 1950ies, was a great fan of her novels and then later her historic biographies, which are only little known - which is very unfair, as they are not only a great read, but also very good researched. ( I studied history, so believe me here for once!) She always loves her subjects and therefore we own her some of the most amusing and understanding biographies about Louis XIV, the Marquise de Pompadour, the lovestory between Voltaire and Mme de Chatelet - and  a wonderful understanding biography about Frederic the Great. Especially the biographies are rare to find nowadays - I bought the Voltaire after much looking for it in the internet. Frederik and "Pomp", as she called her, are available at Penguins.

But there is good news: I have had a good dive on Amazon and the novels and even the biographies (!!!) are due to be published again - hurra!
Now for a short introduction to her novels. I cannot say, which one I love more, they are all delightful. Important to know is, that they are always told from the point of view of Fanny, a mousy cousin, who has been left behind by her mother as a baby to grow up with an aunt and who always spend her holidays with her delightful cousins in the countryside - they grow up together. Through all the novels the figure of Fanny tells us the stories and we can follow her way in life too, becoming a wife and mother and, in the last novel, wife of the english Ambassador in Paris in the 1960ies - with all included....
The Pursuit of Love is more or less a history of Nancy´s english childhood in disguise: the Radleys, their apparently always unheated countryhouse Alconleigh, in the center Linda and her life, from being a debutante, marrying the wrong man twice and  finding love - I will not tell more not to spoil the pleasure in reading... Wonderfully witty and lovely english...
Love in a Cold Climate is the story of the beautiful Polly, her grand and very important parents and her cousin, the equally beautiful Cedric, who refers to himself as "One" and knows all about antiques and facecreams. The description of the dinner parties at the country house in the 1930ies is one out of 1000.

The Blessing is a story of an "english rose", Grace,  getting married to a french marquis and the ups and downs of this marriage in the Paris of the 1950/60ies. Delightful descriptions of dinnerparties and the Beau Monde in Paris at that time - or of a holiday in the summer in the family house in the south of France.

Don´t tell Alfred finally is the story of the couple Fanny and Alfred as ambassadors in the 1960ies in Paris - many of the old faces are in here again and it is hilarious and a must read for every diplomat in the world. Actually, those were the good times I so often refer to...

These are her main novels, all to be found in a great Nancy Mitford Omnibus by Penguin. There are some others which have been reedited, I must admit, that I did not read them, mostly earlier books, two or three. But I have read more or less everything by her and about her. For a biography of herself, I would suggest the Biography written by Harold Acton after her death - he was a part in her set and knew her very well. He also "understood" her, which is not always the case in biographies.

Another book, which gives an insight in the family and the relations with her sisters and the beloved brother  Tom are the Letters of the Mitford Sisters - a wonderful read in itself! As one sister was the beautiful Diana, first married to a Guiness, then falling in love with Sir Oswald Mosley; another was Decca, a convinced communist, married to a chap who went to the Spanish Civil War, became a widow and left to live in America;  Unity was a devouted follower of Hitler and shot herself when she understood, what was going on; Pam, a great house and Horse woman; the youngest is Deborah, Dowager Duchess of Devonshire. A broad variety indeed. And a history of England at its best, in numberless letters, often so witty and hilaroius, making jokes when they are sad and just carrying on - indeed the best of british, I `d say.

In praise of a clear desk

Since I started to work again, I am battling against a desk which is overtaken every day by papers, notices and all sorts of things, like used tea mugs, not working pens, a picture of my children, memosticks for shopping lists in the supermarket in the evening  ( you cannot imagine the catastrophe, if there is no Nutella in the house!) and then also urgent files, very urgent files and files which would have been neede to sort out long before I started to work here - all very peacefully waiting with longing eyes - as far as files can have eyes - for being treated and filed and archived.

It is a constant battle. Until now I win  -  which give me the thought whether this is a battle worth battling?? There are two schools of desks: the ones which are completedly clean and look like coming out of a Interior Decoration Magazine. The others are so chaotic, that one comes into the room and turns on one's heels as it seems completedly useless to look for something. But both models work. Most of us are in the middle of those two extremes.

An empty, shining and very very big and clean desk can mean several things. Or there is someone not in the office at all and it is a showroom in a shop. Or the person concerned is not important, i.e. has nothing to do and fills in a purely decorative existence. Or he/she is so well organised, that we should be very careful and in awe of working with somebody like that: it means, that all is going over the desk, but is treated immediately and nothing lingers and waits until the Day of St. Nobody. So it is a message between real power and real powerlessness and it needs a good eye to see the difference.

The superchaos table might as well be a treacherous thing: Someone is overwhelmed with work and lost in oblivion between piling up dossiers? Or not well organised? Or simply very creative - most often I have noticed, that those, who are working in this creative chaos version always find everything in a matter of minutes and normally have everything stored safely away in their heads as well - The question now is, who is more admirable - the empty or the chaotic table-owners? And where are you?

Remember the feeling, when you were still going to school? Spending "hours" to arrange everything very neatly on your desk before starting to do your homework? It felt like being in charge and control. And it gave pleasure to the task of doing your homework in the best way possible ( ok, there have been many many times, where I just smeared the stuff down and was done with it). But I remember very clearly the pleasure of a well organized and clear desk. Nowadays I see it in the room of my daughter - the time which goes into preparing to make her desk right is sometimes longer than the actual work she has to do.

I take it as a good habit, some sort of concentration thing. A clear desk gives you freedom to act and to decide what to do next. But nothing against a full desk, even if it shouts chaos - sometimes a very creative chaos.

Formal dinner anybody?

A little while ago an old friend of mine took me to a very posh dinnerparty - I did not know anybody and felt at the beginning quite out of my comfort zone. Actually I am quite out of training these days concerning dinnerparties, small talk, charme offensives and dressing up to an event outside my office, the kitchen at home and my tour to the supermarket.
But, surprise, I enjoyed myself very much indeed!

In my humble experience of the olden days the best recipe for a successful party is the combination of three main factors: The right mixture of people, not too many, not too few, then delicious and not overcomplicated food (or, if you  must have the lobstercocktail, prepare it in mouthwateringly easy to handle bits and pieces), enough good stuff to drink and - fast becoming  a dying out artform - be delighted to receive your guests, nicely made up and dressed to the occasion. Easy.

As a matter of fact, it is not really elegant to have too much choice in food and overcomplicated dishes, which sometimes make people uncomfortable, as they do not know how to handle the lobster cutlery and have to look intelligent while figuring out on the spot. Very often the simple dishes are the most relished - here comes the idea of comfort food fully to its meaning. Known food makes people relax and enjoy what they have served in front of them. Too much choice makes a bad belly and consequently grumpy guests! But deliciously and carefully prepared dishes do not have to be complicated.
The same goes for drinks - champagne for aperos, for dinner water and one good wine goes a long way to jolly conversation and fun. No need to have red and white wine, ports of different centuries and then also 35 different digestives. By any means serve a nice Grappa or a Whisky with the coffee, but that' s it.
It is a well known truth, that a dinnerparty does not need to cost much money in order to be a success.

Then the people - here it starts to become interesting. Rarely the person who cherishes to go to an event in the full conscience of not knowing a single soul in the place. We all love to find a well known face and normally stir immediately to this safe haven in the sea of unknown co-guests. Which does not exclude that meeting new people is one of the true pleasures of an evening well spent.
I always make it a rule, that everybody invited knows at least one person well enough to have a conversation starter. This breaks the ice and makes new introductions look effortless. The mixture of people is also important - depending on the number of invitees you have. If you have a huge party for more then 50 people, mix all you want. If you have a dinner for 8, you have to be a little bit more careful for political convictions, religious beliefs, maritial problems and belief it or not, vegetarian activits or the odd artist...

Last but not least we come to the broad smile, oozing the pleasure of opening your home to guests and infusing their arrival with the imminent expectaion of a splendid, funny and interesting evening. I think those adjectives were still written high in the agenda in the 1950ies, only to die a slow and agonising death  during the 70ies and beyond ending in the feeling, that sometimes the guest seems to be the enemy indeed.
 I have always thought that getting washed, combed and dressed in a clean shirt together with a intention to have a lovely evening are the basics which a guest should bring to a party. I may sound once again the preacher here, but I cannot help the impression that it has been a rule of good upbringing lost to our contemporaries to do one's duty at a party: It is a give and take and the success of an evening can fall and rise with the effort guests put into singing for their dinner. And believe me, it is not an impression I have alone. Many a hostess sometimes asks herself, if it is really such a calvaire for people being invited and pampered and then not opening their mouth a whole evening and afterwards not even having the slightest need to thank for an evening  which quite some thought and effort was put in to please them. It seems their birthright to receive, but not to give. I wonder whether we should not change the system and offer even to pay guests to attend a dinnerparty.... It would be a good source of income for impoverished aristocracy.

There is still a bubble surviving in diplomatic lives where dressing up for the occasion, preparing delicious food and taking care of beautiful settings are also fast on their way of becoming an endagered species.
So, enjoy, wehnever you get the oportunity and while it lasts!

PS: Let me know, if you need a count, a baroness or even a princess, ok?

Why don't you, for a change...

...give away the stuff you have not used in the last two years? I mean seriously everything - from bedding to shoes and cooking pans to halfused shampoo bottles in your bathroom, tablecloth, stored pullovers and old post packages?

...finish what you have? Before you next time buy something for your bathroom, you use everything you have stored as a hamster - but everything, every little shampoo, soap and bodylotions and shower gel? Not to forget the collection of hotel samples!!!

...make a raid in your kitchen cupboards? Do not go to the supermarked, but make meals in using only ingredients you have at home? Allowed to buy are fresh vegetables/fruit and bread.

...make a swap party with you friends - or a market? Organise it with all the things which are still good or you do not want to give away for nothing, but do not really want to earn serious money with it? Invite all your contacts and tell them to bring a friend - new aquaintances come for free!

...edit your addressbook, email contacts and telephonebook on your telephone? Store them in a little USB stick, just in case, but have the essentiels at hand without scrolling 150 names for the letter "M".....

....take the pictures down and have bare walls for a while? It trains the eyes and makes you aware once again of your surroundings. Have you noticed the light on the floor in your living room?

.... make a habit of changing the decoration of your home with the seasons? Easiest done with flowers of the market and the odd lovely cashmere shawl on your bed from october onwards. Or, as it is spring now,  out with the azaleas, in with the tulips and out with the warm duvets ( ok, not yet!) and in with the beautiful wool blanket....

.... just have fun???

Favourite Colour: Green II

Forget me not

By now all of you have certainly understood, that green is one of my great favourite colours. I feel refreshed in studying Farrow&Ball colour charts and one of my most beloved shades are the green ones. Especially the grey greens and mute shades.

Now, as spring is coming without doubt, I wait impatiently for the fresh and lush green - almost neongreen! For once nature has got it right with the Spring/Summer 2012 Collections in Paris and London!

The relativity of time

It is still the beginning of the year - we are not yet officially in spring and cold grey skies are "de rigeur" here in Brussels - but not today. As far as I can see in my environment, last year was somewhat difficult for many of us -  I saw much sorrow and fighting uphill. Let's hope, it will be better  now in 2012. Funnily enough the regular starting of a new year fills me always with hope - and I am by God in the meantime old enough as to know that it is only a randomly choosen date to start the calender and set people at ease. It is better to know what awaits us than not having any frame. Now, in and after the Carneval break, we know, that  there is this heavy workload in school and job before Easter comes up, and then until july it will be smooth rolling over green hills and enjoying the sun and warm days, etc, etc.

When I was a young girl, I always thought my mother peculiar in complaining about how quickly a year passed. Today I say it myself and see the small impatience in the eyes of my own children. What is a week for me today? A wink with an eye. For a 10 year old it is eternity. For me it can feel like eternity if I have some lovely days with my friends in the south of France and come back to Brussels - seems like I have been away much longer and not only 4 days. The quality of our lives has to do with the denseness and relativity of time. A week in my job f.e. passes by in a snip of my fingers. But sometimes an afternoon, where there is no rush and nothing to do, never ends. Time indeed is a "relative" thing.


Remember, when we were children? The summerholidays seemed neverending and nowadays they pass by in a whiff. The time spent in traffic jams feels three times the real 10 minutes, the time destroyed being glued to the television is dripping away like water in your hands. Time cherished being with good friends and in good company makes it seem longer than it actually was. A minute can be an hour in an important moment of your life and years may pass forgotten, because you have nothing to tell for them.

Last september I went to see my mother for her 88th birthday in Bavaria. The days in Munich were dense and full, that it seemed to me that I stayed far longer than 48 hours there. Being congratulated for this special day, she told me amazed with herself, that although she is old in her body and tired, she very often does not feel old. She feels like 18 sometimes and like 123 other times - and both is true. She wonders that her children are now grandparents themselves and that friends who used to be around simply died and leave her alone in a world which gets smaller by the day and faster out there as well every day. And that is true as well.

 It was my first "break" since I had started to work full time and it was therefore something special. I stayed as usual with my dear friend Lilli and went for lunch out into the countryside to visit my mother and the siblings, who had time on their hands to come and celebrate.
We were almost all there, all but one. And it was strange - you feel transported in time and do not at all wonder about it. There we were, sitting all together, talking and chatting away, having fun, the always same old stories being told, the same great bursts of laughter and the same danger of getting on our nerves after more than 2 hours of being together. My younger brother and me are still The Two Little Ones. We both have white hair by now and I have a son who is finishing school in 2012! And I am nearer to 50 now than to 40. But still, The Little Ones we are. I think it is charming - now, at this time of my life I like it to be this way. And the response I gave one of my brothers some time ago, when he told me that I could not possible have any knowledge or idea about a certain subject, as he was 15 years older than me, was : "This is no longer an advantage, I am afraid"! And be both had a great laugh together.
My mother told me when leaving, that the greatest gift for her birthday was to know, that we were still all here.
As I told you: My oldest kid is doing his bac next may, that is, tomorrow. How can it be, that from his birth 17 years ago, until now making his driving licence, has passed so fast? Did he not rush around on his tricycle on the balcony of our small flat in Lisbonne, saying  "I am off to Africa" and me answering, " have a good journey and please do come back!" Last april he was in Africa with his school and did come back as well. The relief.
I am lucky and have friends which I know now for 25 or 30 years: when we meet, it is as if we had just met the other day, not only once a year or once every two years. There have been and are many ups and downs in our lifes, but  here we are and a little bit wiser for it. But the fun and the laughter is the same. This feels like home to me.
Coming back to my dear old mum, she always says in the face of fleeting time, sadness and difficulties: Do not take anything tragic. The only thing that counts is that you and the children are in good health and keep on looking forward....
If that is not timeless advice, I do not know!







It is all true about the time relativity - not in s strict physical sense, but the felt moment ihas another wuality than the non felt and lost.

One year of The Red Handbag!

Dear all,
I have neglected you terribly, I know.
But there are times in our lives, where we cannot make all wheels spin and turn at the same time. We have to choose and the fleeting time does not always allow to do all we would love to do.

And now, yesterday, if I am right, this blog has had his first birthday. One year already!!!
All began with a flood of postings loads of things which wanted to be shared and thought about.  But then the last months have been rather dry: My scanner broke, the copie machine does not work and the photoapparatus had, when I needed it - no battery. In the evening, I just wanted to fall asleep and during the day, my job keeps me on my toes continuously.  Does this mean something? Perhaps the recognition of priorities indeed. And the knowledge that to be creative, you need the inner freedom and also a certain room in your mind.

Those priorities for the moment are my children and my job - I live in a Bermuda Triangle between Job-Children-Supermarket - literally. Therefore not really much inspiration to be shared with you about "some of my favourite things" - interior decoration, the good life, friendship and most important of all, Beauty. For me, the older I get, beauty in all its different shapes and possibilities is the main force of keep life vibrant and interesting - and I talk about the blue of the sky, the beauty of a child looking at you, the smile on a statue, singing of a Bach kantata, learning new things and the beauty of communication between all human beings of good intentions.
 Beauty is everywhere for us to pick up, for free. Don't forget this....

I go once in a while on the blog and see with tremendous astonishment, that you keep coming back to have a look into these scramblings - which makes me very happy and determined to continue the adventure if time and soul allows so:  I adore to write and it made me much more aware about the things I care.  And why not??

Remember my motto:
The cherry tree does not bloom because, but in spite of.

Well, a Happy New Year!

I know, I have not written a single post in those Christmas Hols - and today I am back to my job.... But I wish us all a very happy and wonderful new year, full of good experiences, good laughters, hope and glory, love and smiles, good health and a load full of plans. Optimism is the word of the moment! Jola

Bernar Venet at home