It is still the beginning of the year - we are not yet officially in spring and cold grey skies are "de rigeur" here in Brussels - but not today. As far as I can see in my environment, last year was somewhat difficult for many of us - I saw much sorrow and fighting uphill. Let's hope, it will be better now in 2012. Funnily enough the regular starting of a new year fills me always with hope - and I am by God in the meantime old enough as to know that it is only a randomly choosen date to start the calender and set people at ease. It is better to know what awaits us than not having any frame. Now, in and after the Carneval break, we know, that there is this heavy workload in school and job before Easter comes up, and then until july it will be smooth rolling over green hills and enjoying the sun and warm days, etc, etc.
When I was a young girl, I always thought my mother peculiar in complaining about how quickly a year passed. Today I say it myself and see the small impatience in the eyes of my own children. What is a week for me today? A wink with an eye. For a 10 year old it is eternity. For me it can feel like eternity if I have some lovely days with my friends in the south of France and come back to Brussels - seems like I have been away much longer and not only 4 days. The quality of our lives has to do with the denseness and relativity of time. A week in my job f.e. passes by in a snip of my fingers. But sometimes an afternoon, where there is no rush and nothing to do, never ends. Time indeed is a "relative" thing.
Remember, when we were children? The summerholidays seemed neverending and nowadays they pass by in a whiff. The time spent in traffic jams feels three times the real 10 minutes, the time destroyed being glued to the television is dripping away like water in your hands. Time cherished being with good friends and in good company makes it seem longer than it actually was. A minute can be an hour in an important moment of your life and years may pass forgotten, because you have nothing to tell for them.
Last september I went to see my mother for her 88th birthday in Bavaria. The days in Munich were dense and full, that it seemed to me that I stayed far longer than 48 hours there. Being congratulated for this special day, she told me amazed with herself, that although she is old in her body and tired, she very often does not feel old. She feels like 18 sometimes and like 123 other times - and both is true. She wonders that her children are now grandparents themselves and that friends who used to be around simply died and leave her alone in a world which gets smaller by the day and faster out there as well every day. And that is true as well.
It was my first "break" since I had started to work full time and it was therefore something special. I stayed as usual with my dear friend Lilli and went for lunch out into the countryside to visit my mother and the siblings, who had time on their hands to come and celebrate.
We were almost all there, all but one. And it was strange - you feel transported in time and do not at all wonder about it. There we were, sitting all together, talking and chatting away, having fun, the always same old stories being told, the same great bursts of laughter and the same danger of getting on our nerves after more than 2 hours of being together. My younger brother and me are still The Two Little Ones. We both have white hair by now and I have a son who is finishing school in 2012! And I am nearer to 50 now than to 40. But still, The Little Ones we are. I think it is charming - now, at this time of my life I like it to be this way. And the response I gave one of my brothers some time ago, when he told me that I could not possible have any knowledge or idea about a certain subject, as he was 15 years older than me, was : "This is no longer an advantage, I am afraid"! And be both had a great laugh together.
My mother told me when leaving, that the greatest gift for her birthday was to know, that we were still all here.
As I told you: My oldest kid is doing his bac next may, that is, tomorrow. How can it be, that from his birth 17 years ago, until now making his driving licence, has passed so fast? Did he not rush around on his tricycle on the balcony of our small flat in Lisbonne, saying "I am off to Africa" and me answering, " have a good journey and please do come back!" Last april he was in Africa with his school and did come back as well. The relief.
I am lucky and have friends which I know now for 25 or 30 years: when we meet, it is as if we had just met the other day, not only once a year or once every two years. There have been and are many ups and downs in our lifes, but here we are and a little bit wiser for it. But the fun and the laughter is the same. This feels like home to me.
Coming back to my dear old mum, she always says in the face of fleeting time, sadness and difficulties: Do not take anything tragic. The only thing that counts is that you and the children are in good health and keep on looking forward....
If that is not timeless advice, I do not know!
It is all true about the time relativity - not in s strict physical sense, but the felt moment ihas another wuality than the non felt and lost.
