A little while ago an old friend of mine took me to a very posh dinnerparty - I did not know anybody and felt at the beginning quite out of my comfort zone. Actually I am quite out of training these days concerning dinnerparties, small talk, charme offensives and dressing up to an event outside my office, the kitchen at home and my tour to the supermarket.
But, surprise, I enjoyed myself very much indeed!
In my humble experience of the olden days the best recipe for a successful party is the combination of three main factors: The right mixture of people, not too many, not too few, then delicious and not overcomplicated food (or, if you must have the lobstercocktail, prepare it in mouthwateringly easy to handle bits and pieces), enough good stuff to drink and - fast becoming a dying out artform - be delighted to receive your guests, nicely made up and dressed to the occasion. Easy.
As a matter of fact, it is not really elegant to have too much choice in food and overcomplicated dishes, which sometimes make people uncomfortable, as they do not know how to handle the lobster cutlery and have to look intelligent while figuring out on the spot. Very often the simple dishes are the most relished - here comes the idea of comfort food fully to its meaning. Known food makes people relax and enjoy what they have served in front of them. Too much choice makes a bad belly and consequently grumpy guests! But deliciously and carefully prepared dishes do not have to be complicated.
The same goes for drinks - champagne for aperos, for dinner water and one good wine goes a long way to jolly conversation and fun. No need to have red and white wine, ports of different centuries and then also 35 different digestives. By any means serve a nice Grappa or a Whisky with the coffee, but that' s it.
It is a well known truth, that a dinnerparty does not need to cost much money in order to be a success.
Then the people - here it starts to become interesting. Rarely the person who cherishes to go to an event in the full conscience of not knowing a single soul in the place. We all love to find a well known face and normally stir immediately to this safe haven in the sea of unknown co-guests. Which does not exclude that meeting new people is one of the true pleasures of an evening well spent.
I always make it a rule, that everybody invited knows at least one person well enough to have a conversation starter. This breaks the ice and makes new introductions look effortless. The mixture of people is also important - depending on the number of invitees you have. If you have a huge party for more then 50 people, mix all you want. If you have a dinner for 8, you have to be a little bit more careful for political convictions, religious beliefs, maritial problems and belief it or not, vegetarian activits or the odd artist...
Last but not least we come to the broad smile, oozing the pleasure of opening your home to guests and infusing their arrival with the imminent expectaion of a splendid, funny and interesting evening. I think those adjectives were still written high in the agenda in the 1950ies, only to die a slow and agonising death during the 70ies and beyond ending in the feeling, that sometimes the guest seems to be the enemy indeed.
I have always thought that getting washed, combed and dressed in a clean shirt together with a intention to have a lovely evening are the basics which a guest should bring to a party. I may sound once again the preacher here, but I cannot help the impression that it has been a rule of good upbringing lost to our contemporaries to do one's duty at a party: It is a give and take and the success of an evening can fall and rise with the effort guests put into singing for their dinner. And believe me, it is not an impression I have alone. Many a hostess sometimes asks herself, if it is really such a calvaire for people being invited and pampered and then not opening their mouth a whole evening and afterwards not even having the slightest need to thank for an evening which quite some thought and effort was put in to please them. It seems their birthright to receive, but not to give. I wonder whether we should not change the system and offer even to pay guests to attend a dinnerparty.... It would be a good source of income for impoverished aristocracy.
There is still a bubble surviving in diplomatic lives where dressing up for the occasion, preparing delicious food and taking care of beautiful settings are also fast on their way of becoming an endagered species.
So, enjoy, wehnever you get the oportunity and while it lasts!
PS: Let me know, if you need a count, a baroness or even a princess, ok?
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