Why don´t you...? 2

- think big, great and audacious?
- just do it?
- stop and stare once in a while?
- in sleepless nights hear the birds sing in the small hours?
- get up and to sleep an hour earlier?

Some thoughts on glamour

Glamour has recently got a bad reputation - at least there has been a shift in its perception, which sometimes is not the way how real glamour should be understood. So, what is real glamour? Certainly not a loud hollywoody-celebrity-thing. Lady Gaga is far from it and there are more than one or the other actress running near behind her.

 No, I think, real glamour is much more a quiet thing, and therefore does not belong to the overall re-designed starlets.

There are some obvious things which belong not in this ticking box: Botox is not glamourous; neither are too weird shoes. Leggings, definitively not - only on Audrey Hepburn in Funny Face, perhaps. And a handbag with too many troddles and applications. Badly coloured hair - no, no! Too small clothes on ALL bodyshapes.
Bad manners are a dead sure glamour killer; and hanging on the telephone all the time: at the table, in the metro, while being apparently in a conversation - in short, being available all times of the day. Speaking too loud is not glamourous as is being actively rude to other people while driving a car ( swearing your head out could be glamorous though - alone in the car). French manicure has lost its place in glamour. Short short skirts after 45, even if you have the legs. Lying naked on the beach - no. There is a fine line...

If I may take the liberty, I will make a not exhaustive list for your amusement and for mine of some things I - personally - do consider as being glamourous. And I do encourage each and everyone of you, women, men and children, to take good old glamour up again. Life is beautiful!!!

So, let´s get started.
A real smile is glamourous. Nice and clean teeth, even if not in perfect hollywood alignement. Good smell, not overwhelmingly announcing itself half an hour before the actual person comes near you. Clean skin. Little make-up. Graceful movements - every bodyshape can be graceful. Paying attention. Looking sharp out of intelligent eyes. Having a recognizable style of one´s own in dress and make-up. Being curious and open for all sorts of things. Learning something new. ( Here comes one thing I should do: learn how to put pictures on this blog... I promise, I will conquer it!)

 Knowing many different people and try to find common interests  - hereby providing a much bigger circle to all of your friends and aquaintances. Being honest. Courage, specially in the face of adversity. Having a signature scent and stick to it for years - the bliss of it! Humour and self-irony - actually humour is a sign of intelligence. Knowing which fashion to follow and which to leave to others. Better: Not following fashion slavishly at all. Dressing one´s age without giving anything of fun and beauty away ( this is a difficult one, but one can master it!)

 Aging gracefully. Many many laughing wrinkles. Laughing generally.....Beautiful hands (and short nails, preferably buffed and not lackered ALL the time). Well treated feet. Smoking, sometimes, for the fun of it. Not counting calories, but enjoying one´s food and be grateful for the good life we all lead. Kindness to everyone, also the beggar in the street. Talking one´s mind. Reading. Knowing how to look at art. And at people.

An old glamour secret: Keeping one´s mouth shut, when having nothing interesting to say.
The Unexpected is glamourous, but not the artificially unexpected - there is a trap here!

And concerning dressing, it is easy: by a certain age, we all know, what fits us and what does not really promote proper self esteem. This rule applies to women and men all the same. Clothes are there to fit us, not we to fit them! To stick to some beloved and proofed lovely garments, changing subtly the colours as the years advance and skin tones change, and then simply forget about how you look. Good qualitiy is always advisable. But sometimes the cheap find in the bazaar is a hit - why not? Knowing to dress up, when the occasion arises - and then not doing it in the Aschenputtel fashion, but with poise and grace and fun.

In short:  Glamour is there to feel alive, do as you like, having fun, loving life and being the unique "me" we all are in the end  - all the rest is bullshit  - easy!!

A word on the education of boys

It has been the fashion, during the last 20 years at least, to blame mothers for all and everything. Teeth are not brushed, the car is ruined, marriages break off, people murder other people and the world climate gets out of control - there lurks always a mom behind it all, for sure.

The ones of us who have/intend to have children are to be warned - mothering is a dangerous job and it takes courage and bravado to take it on.  And normally there is no give-it-back-guarantee.

I will today not contemplate the education of girls, though much could be said for that too, but will take the liberty of thinking about things we poor old mothers should teach our boys, to make the world a better place and life more comfortable for them ( in the long run) and the girls they will pick up later on ( preferably for the long run, too).

So, imagine you have a 17 year old chap sitting in front of you and the attention span of ca 7 minutes to make your point. Go, have a look out of the window, do not look him in the face, go straight for the following wise counsel and then let him then work out what it means by himself. Another good oportunity is doing the ironing/ he lolling around or doing some heavy cooking/ him taking a late breakfast.

So.
Very important: Cleanliness - brushed teeth, a shower, cut fingernails  ( and toes...), a nice but not overwhelming scent, a good haircut - clean hair, even without a good haircut, and decent clothes ( i.e. clean and sometimes even ironed and covering essential bodyparts) are already a real achievement.

Add Good Manners, like opening a door for someone, say thank you and please, be polite in conversation, pretend to hear with some interest and not to use too excessively the f-word in the company of the elderly ( i.e.us) does help to make a good overall impression.

Some Little Attentions, like carrying the shopping without a moan or martyred facemovement, taking OWN dirty clothes without reminding from the floor IN the washing bin, and then later in life, being capable to wait for 15 minutes in a shoeshop, when your darling is pondering to buy or not to buy shoes which you find horrible; if asked for your opinion be honest, look sharp and know when to stop; noticing, if she is well dressed, beautiful,sad, keen on telling you something, etc.  - big plus.

Essentials are good humor, being serious in the pursuit of one´s goals without going over dead bodies all the time; basic cooking, learn to dance and know the names of some vegetables and flowers. Fishnames and Wine do impress really.
Give a gift, when it comes your way. Avoid giving just for the giving sake, without thought or inclination.
But: Never forget a birthday....
Pay the cinema without even hesitating.
Walk on the side of the street if you walk together.
Don´t call all the time.
Have interests and friends of your own and spend time on your own - you are still a person for yourself too and only children need a nanny to amuse and keep them busy!

ok, 7 minutes over.



And then, when the chap is a  grown up man, some words to "the dream man for all" of us:

If a gentleman does once in a while out of pure autosuggestion take the unexpected initiative to invite for a theater, cinema, dinner, picnic, visit or, if he brings the odd flower ( may be stolen from the public park, who cares!),  or even tells you, how lucky he is, to have you - then the girl is the lucky one and should thank God every day three times on her knees. Playing an instrument would be lovely, but preferable is a mind which remembers to put the garbage out at night. Sometimes.

If he earns money and knows how to keep it without being stingy, has a good sense of humor (almost more important), common sense and some not excessive self irony, is kind to women, children and dogs and loves the good life - lovely. If he can cook, this is great. And if he can even dance,  even better....

A sad word on presents: Presents for Christmas should not be bought in the last minute and out of the household money. An emphasis on mother´s day with the gift of the latest newest pressure cooking accessory is to be by all means avoided.
If a man opens his mind and his ears, he will get plenty of hints, what the girls like for a gift, preferably as a surprise and not useful at all. As a rule: a gift never "needs" a reason to be given and it it better, to give nothing, than without thought or love or simply out of duty. This is horrible for both parties and to be avoided - also, to remind a lady about the presents given 43, 32, 25, 19, 13, 9, or even 5 years ago and that she therefore has no more need for presents, is unkind.

An interesting man has interests of his own - very wise to start that early in life - because, if retirement is lurking, all of a sudden you have daily someone following you through the house who is explaining to you how to do the hoovering is not desirable... So, interests cannot start early enough. And a wise woman knows that a passionate interest in cooking, gardening, motorcycling, music or egyptian art is her best friend in many years to come and should encourage those sorts of outlets by all means.

But I know, I sing a song for the wind and the clouds. Alas,  I could go on and on... It is always allowed to dream. And I insist, that mothers are not ALWAYS the culprits for everything. At least not after 30 - or was it, that 50 is the new 30? So, then not after 50.

Clean skin

The other day I remembered a holiday with one of my sisters and her then small children. We went for a very fashionable  inn to have lunch and one of my nieces, at the time perhaps 4 years old, was happily munching away her lunch. A lady, the same age as I am now, was sitting next to us and looking at the little girl said with such sadness in her voice, that I never forgot it: "Ah, to have such lovely skin once again..."
 At the time I thought her rather weird, but since I have come many times to think about this sigh myself - you look in the mirror and the person who smiles at you is not somebody you really are acquainted with. Know the feeling?

It is and has always been a sign of health and wealth to have good skin.
So we religiously pop our Omega 3/6/9 Tablets, buy expensive creams in the dozen ( oh, the bliss of a new and expensive pot, every time promising eternal youth and beauty - and we silly things fall down in the trap each time over and over again.. But to be true: we Love  and even Believe it), we rush to the beauticians regularly, massage daily and most of all, we DO HOPE to make a difference if we only care enough. So far so good, no rest for the wicked.

As already our grandmothers told us, there are a few rules which, if you follow them religiously, will provide you with the utter bliss of clean and lovely skin until your very old age. (I would love to have those rules and a patent of them, because then I would be a rich woman - and then, what would be possible!!)

But, alas, experience and advancing age teach us one thing: It is not absolutely in our hands, no, it is not.

Be rich or poor, have happy or unhappy genes, the dreaded way of life, the lack of sleep with small children accumulated over the years,  too much smoking, staring at the computer screen for hours and excessive crying during the small hours of the night, too little fresh air and too much cupcakes to beat tiredness - all those villains indeed make our hopes for the skin bliss each time a little bit smaller. Misery.

And just a tiny bit more masochism: Remember the times, where we were dancing all night, coming home at 6.30 am, getting a shower and be off for the job, filled with a huge coffee and a croissant and at least 4 pieces of chocolate - and the skin was glowing and we looked like a young girl should look: fresh, peachy, happy and wrinkle less? Again: Misery, just to think about it.

But you can do indeed something: CLEAN YOUR SKIN. Every day, 7 days a week and 52 weeks a year and 87 years, etc etc.

It is as simple as that and not a miracle. All you need is a good (!) cleanser, some warm water and a piece of cloth to wash your face and neck with. And then some oil or a moisturiser and that is all you really need. Because concerning skin the motto is: the simpler, the better.

I know,  I know, some of you will laugh out loud, knowing me as the beauty junkie all my life - but, seriously, it boils down to such a simple regime...  Which will not impede me to try everything under the sun to see, whether there is a miracle out there. Promise!

"Why don´t you..."

In hommage to Diana Vreeland....

But we start with very reasonable suggestions, champagne etc. comes later, when we have some training!


- bring definitely more glamour in your life: start wearing a bright red lipstick to do your supermarket.

- count how many times during the day you smile? Do it, and you will be amazed.

- stop feeling responsible for all and everyone?

- eat the cake, if it is on your plate?

- get an hairdresser appointment once a week, like our mothers did? Better than therapy sessions.

- buy yourself a dog?

- start to read again in the evening? Take three different books and start them all at the same time, you will never be bored again and fall asleep like a stone within 10 minutes.

An Ode to the Colour Grey

Actually I have been loving the colour grey for years and years, long before it was fashionable. Now it was "in" this last winters` season: Heaven for me, as there was a tremendous choice in grey clothes...

And I am in the best company, even if it is dead company: Christian Dior. He postulated clear and loud, that grey is one of his most cherished colours and how right he is, ahem, was!! As usual.
There is a grey for every one, he says - and he should know. Grey is much softer to the skin colour than black and you can find it in all sorts of shades - from very dark to very light, from greenish grey to violet grey, from dark brownish grey to darkest anthrazit, which is still softer and much more forgiving than black.

And this colour is always chic - foolproof one could say.

Take grey with white and you feel fresh and clean.
A grey turtleneck is always right. Grey slacks are always right. A grey jacket is a staple in every grown up woman´s wardrobe ( and so becoming with a red handbag, by the way!!) And a grey dress, with one other colour can be the hight of glamour - not to speak of the good old times, where you could get a grey-green duchess silk evening gown with a greenish eveningcoat on top,  an ensemble which weighed in itself already at least 7 kg and you had the workout for free in putting it on. And so much more fun than a treadmill... Long gone the balls with real ballgowns... I get carried away, so sorry.

Good old Christian Dior also is in favour of not dying your hair - wonderful!! I understand, that it is a harsh decision, giving up the beloved blond you sported when you were 5 years old or the lovely fat chestnut colour, when you were at the height of things, around 22.
But in reality, Haircolour Fades, like the teint, over time and so often we see ladies in their newly coloured manes, fit to frighten children into nightmares....

Grey hair, Dior says, is stylish and very chic. And the natural colour of your hair suits always always always your skin colour - lovely base/excuse for a little warpaint, like rouge and lipstick and mascara.

But I say no to grey handbags - or would it be a good idea to have a dark grey Birkin Bag in suede????? I could be perhaps be convinced to consider this seriously. Will have a look, what Christian says.

Another chapter could be grey walls and wallpapers. A dark grey woolcarpet is so chic and timeless. Light grey silk curtains with white lining are a classic. The odd sofa covered in grey flannel is no longer a novelty. A bedroom in light grey, white and touches of powdery-dark rose could be convincing. Well, I start to bore you...

But then, I am not a dictator. I just love the colour.
Paint and colour ahead, as long as you are happy and feel good about it!!
But give grey a chance, in all sorts and shapes. If you find the right grey - otherwise, it is only grey and nothing else.
Good luck!

"The Hare with the Amber Eyes" by Edmund de Waal, London 2010

This is a book I found by accident, browsing around on Amazon.co.uk. The title caught my eye and the reviews sounded promising. So I ordered it and found a jewel, really. I have since understood, that many of you have already heard about or read this book.

All the same, I want once more encourage each and everyone to read it - it is a story, cristall clear and well told in beautiful english, full of european history embedded in the story of the welknown Ephrussi family, seen as getting up from Odessa to the fashionable Paris of the 1880s, meeting Proust and being patron of Monet, moving over to Vienna and all the Ringstrassen glory of the beginning of the 20th century, then telling the heartbreaking tale of the Anschluss and the war in Vienna and ending, after some time in England, in the 1950s´ Japan. All this is a background for a collection of japanese objects, "Netsuke" as they are called, and their history within the history of the Ephrussi family.

Edmund de Waal is a potter by profession and has work shown all over the world, with exhibitions in the V&A and the Tate Britain. He gives us the imense pleasure and gripping read along these little figures and their destiny during the last 100 years of european history in his family. There is little nostalgia for lost times, but a fine and delicat handling of the past, full of human understanding and dignity. In the end the circle closes and there is hope  - the hidden inheritance is intact.
I loved the book and can only highly recommend it.