Favourite Colour: Green II

Forget me not

By now all of you have certainly understood, that green is one of my great favourite colours. I feel refreshed in studying Farrow&Ball colour charts and one of my most beloved shades are the green ones. Especially the grey greens and mute shades.

Now, as spring is coming without doubt, I wait impatiently for the fresh and lush green - almost neongreen! For once nature has got it right with the Spring/Summer 2012 Collections in Paris and London!

The relativity of time

It is still the beginning of the year - we are not yet officially in spring and cold grey skies are "de rigeur" here in Brussels - but not today. As far as I can see in my environment, last year was somewhat difficult for many of us -  I saw much sorrow and fighting uphill. Let's hope, it will be better  now in 2012. Funnily enough the regular starting of a new year fills me always with hope - and I am by God in the meantime old enough as to know that it is only a randomly choosen date to start the calender and set people at ease. It is better to know what awaits us than not having any frame. Now, in and after the Carneval break, we know, that  there is this heavy workload in school and job before Easter comes up, and then until july it will be smooth rolling over green hills and enjoying the sun and warm days, etc, etc.

When I was a young girl, I always thought my mother peculiar in complaining about how quickly a year passed. Today I say it myself and see the small impatience in the eyes of my own children. What is a week for me today? A wink with an eye. For a 10 year old it is eternity. For me it can feel like eternity if I have some lovely days with my friends in the south of France and come back to Brussels - seems like I have been away much longer and not only 4 days. The quality of our lives has to do with the denseness and relativity of time. A week in my job f.e. passes by in a snip of my fingers. But sometimes an afternoon, where there is no rush and nothing to do, never ends. Time indeed is a "relative" thing.


Remember, when we were children? The summerholidays seemed neverending and nowadays they pass by in a whiff. The time spent in traffic jams feels three times the real 10 minutes, the time destroyed being glued to the television is dripping away like water in your hands. Time cherished being with good friends and in good company makes it seem longer than it actually was. A minute can be an hour in an important moment of your life and years may pass forgotten, because you have nothing to tell for them.

Last september I went to see my mother for her 88th birthday in Bavaria. The days in Munich were dense and full, that it seemed to me that I stayed far longer than 48 hours there. Being congratulated for this special day, she told me amazed with herself, that although she is old in her body and tired, she very often does not feel old. She feels like 18 sometimes and like 123 other times - and both is true. She wonders that her children are now grandparents themselves and that friends who used to be around simply died and leave her alone in a world which gets smaller by the day and faster out there as well every day. And that is true as well.

 It was my first "break" since I had started to work full time and it was therefore something special. I stayed as usual with my dear friend Lilli and went for lunch out into the countryside to visit my mother and the siblings, who had time on their hands to come and celebrate.
We were almost all there, all but one. And it was strange - you feel transported in time and do not at all wonder about it. There we were, sitting all together, talking and chatting away, having fun, the always same old stories being told, the same great bursts of laughter and the same danger of getting on our nerves after more than 2 hours of being together. My younger brother and me are still The Two Little Ones. We both have white hair by now and I have a son who is finishing school in 2012! And I am nearer to 50 now than to 40. But still, The Little Ones we are. I think it is charming - now, at this time of my life I like it to be this way. And the response I gave one of my brothers some time ago, when he told me that I could not possible have any knowledge or idea about a certain subject, as he was 15 years older than me, was : "This is no longer an advantage, I am afraid"! And be both had a great laugh together.
My mother told me when leaving, that the greatest gift for her birthday was to know, that we were still all here.
As I told you: My oldest kid is doing his bac next may, that is, tomorrow. How can it be, that from his birth 17 years ago, until now making his driving licence, has passed so fast? Did he not rush around on his tricycle on the balcony of our small flat in Lisbonne, saying  "I am off to Africa" and me answering, " have a good journey and please do come back!" Last april he was in Africa with his school and did come back as well. The relief.
I am lucky and have friends which I know now for 25 or 30 years: when we meet, it is as if we had just met the other day, not only once a year or once every two years. There have been and are many ups and downs in our lifes, but  here we are and a little bit wiser for it. But the fun and the laughter is the same. This feels like home to me.
Coming back to my dear old mum, she always says in the face of fleeting time, sadness and difficulties: Do not take anything tragic. The only thing that counts is that you and the children are in good health and keep on looking forward....
If that is not timeless advice, I do not know!







It is all true about the time relativity - not in s strict physical sense, but the felt moment ihas another wuality than the non felt and lost.

One year of The Red Handbag!

Dear all,
I have neglected you terribly, I know.
But there are times in our lives, where we cannot make all wheels spin and turn at the same time. We have to choose and the fleeting time does not always allow to do all we would love to do.

And now, yesterday, if I am right, this blog has had his first birthday. One year already!!!
All began with a flood of postings loads of things which wanted to be shared and thought about.  But then the last months have been rather dry: My scanner broke, the copie machine does not work and the photoapparatus had, when I needed it - no battery. In the evening, I just wanted to fall asleep and during the day, my job keeps me on my toes continuously.  Does this mean something? Perhaps the recognition of priorities indeed. And the knowledge that to be creative, you need the inner freedom and also a certain room in your mind.

Those priorities for the moment are my children and my job - I live in a Bermuda Triangle between Job-Children-Supermarket - literally. Therefore not really much inspiration to be shared with you about "some of my favourite things" - interior decoration, the good life, friendship and most important of all, Beauty. For me, the older I get, beauty in all its different shapes and possibilities is the main force of keep life vibrant and interesting - and I talk about the blue of the sky, the beauty of a child looking at you, the smile on a statue, singing of a Bach kantata, learning new things and the beauty of communication between all human beings of good intentions.
 Beauty is everywhere for us to pick up, for free. Don't forget this....

I go once in a while on the blog and see with tremendous astonishment, that you keep coming back to have a look into these scramblings - which makes me very happy and determined to continue the adventure if time and soul allows so:  I adore to write and it made me much more aware about the things I care.  And why not??

Remember my motto:
The cherry tree does not bloom because, but in spite of.

Well, a Happy New Year!

I know, I have not written a single post in those Christmas Hols - and today I am back to my job.... But I wish us all a very happy and wonderful new year, full of good experiences, good laughters, hope and glory, love and smiles, good health and a load full of plans. Optimism is the word of the moment! Jola

Bernar Venet at home

Merry Christmas to you all!

Dear friends and readers,

quite predictably I am here to wish you all a very happy and merry Christmas and also all the best for the new year 2012 - whereever you are in the world, may it be peaceful and quietly happy.

This year 2011 has been full of new challenges and changes for me personally - more are coming up for the next year, as  moving house, sending a child of to university ( well, let's hope so?), trying for getting a better job,with some more perspectives on the long run,  perhaps and hopefully some nice week-end travelling ( Stockholm? Wien? Lisboa? Paris? Cannes?), hopefully a new musical project, some coming back to charity work, etc. etc. I give up consciously on loosing weight and stopping to smoke. Life is hard enough!

My wish for this new year is to see more of the people who are dear to me and have time to spend with my friends and children. To be more patient and optimistic. To hear more to my inner voice. To laugh more. To have more courage and endeavour  - but where to buy if not to steal?

This Handbag business here has up to now been an adventure. Unfortunately I have right now so little time, that the source is quite dry. But I hope that circumstances will make it well up again and new posts and horrendous opinions will be thrown at you at a more accelerated pace.

And, last but not least, I thank you all for looking into this blog with an amazing steadfast regularity. I am thrilled to find you in all parts of the world - in South and Northamerica there is a growing number as well as regular visits from  China and Australia, the Philippines, South Africa, Oman and India!! The very  constant crowd though is in Europe - Belgium, France, Germany Portugal and Austria are regular visitors. The other day I went to my favourite hairdresser and he told me, that somebody had turned up at his place without knowing me personally, but had read my blog. Is this not great fun?

I am very humbled by this regular crowd who comes and has a look at my ramblings. There are in average 350 clicks every month, sometimes well more, sometimes a little less.
You can imagine, that I like it...

Thank you very much and all the best for the new year,

Jola

Hearing Music LIVE

It is "Christmas Time" again and concerts are showering upon us - the choice is dazzling and even my choir is having its share: one concert yesterday and another tomorrow  here in Brussels. We sing the "Messe en Si" or in german, as it should be, the "H-Moll Messe" by Johann Sebastian Bach. Great fun - and so dependent in its success on our public! Yesterday went well, the church was outsold and some people had no places to sit - I think we did pretty well. Doing a concert is always also question of nerves and the state of mind of the moment. Let us see, what will come out tomorrow!

In my older post about music I mused about the choice hearing music in the best available quality of interpretation and musicians out of the box or hear it, perhaps in lesser quality, live, with your ears, eyes and body.
With so many lovely concerts available I thought once again about this and come to the same conclusion every time. It is simply always a treat and a complete adventure to hear music "live", more adventurous then, to do it oneself. Sometime not for the fainthearted! Once we sang a concert, also in the Minimes, and for at 20 mesures we simply did not sing - but all the 30 people together kept silent, as if directed by a magic force. And we started all together at the most appropriate moment again, which very fitting was the exclamation "My God"! Apparently nobody noticed!! Afterwards great many laughters and also wonder about the fact, that we all did keep silent and nobody made a quack. These are the adventures of having music "done" in the moment....

If you go to a concert it is indeed a multitasking experience. Not only are you going to hear music in a condition, where it is not remixed and worked upon, but comes out and is consumed the moment it is produced. As it is human and made in the moment, it might well be that there is the odd hobble or a wrong tempo or even a false note sneeking in.

Fact is: you have many other people around you, some of them coughing, others talking and shuffling around. There might be a portable shouting out loud or somebody reading a newspaper. Sometimes smelling strongly of perfume or, worse, an used shirt.
Then you have to watch - or you can watch -  the musicians or the single person alone there on the stage. Everybody who has had the experience of being obliged to see a bored orchestra knows what I am talking about.You might even watch one of the soloists taking a little nap during the aria of her collegues ( I am not kidding!).

Last but not least: You cannot go out, if it not pleases you - bad disadvantage of you do like Beethoven, but have to sit through some Stockhausen first.
Actually, I think it is a good education in our impatient and fast world to sometimes sit through music you do think to find awful. Just give it a chance and be open to new stuff....?

But back to the roots:  the advantages are so much bigger: the feeling of communion with your other co- listeners, the immediate reaction of your body to great moments and the loosing  of oneself in the music is an experience you cannot buy or produce alone at home on your sofa. The utter fascination seeing such a star like Cecilia Bartoli wooing and playing the public or the animalic iciness of Philippe Jarousky singing on the top of his voice, or even being lost in tears with John Eliot Gardiner and the Brahms Requiem: Seeing and watching and feeling all together in this magic, immediately lost moments "makes" music. And this is so much more.

The Importance of being Groomed - Messieurs!

Life is unfair, we all know it. Therefore a little bit more fairness here in writing about grooming to you, gentlemen, as well.
When I was writing the post for the girls, it came only naturall to think about the men in our lives, the sons we educate and the friends we have. To be a male in these days is not always easy, we all know it. Therefore here a little support to your cause, to the boys out there.

Actually, it seems, historically seen, that in times past it was much more fun to be a chap.
The old egyptians would use all sorts of delicious oils, mascara and shaving themselves at all possible and unpossible places. The middle ages started with the myth that a real man does not need to be clean - poor ducks, all those women, who had to put up with smelly beards and feet...
Still, in the 17th century somebody like Louis XIV had it all: Not just a great house, nice tapestries, water in the gardens and a lot of lovely and funny women, but he also was using perfumes ( he was highly partial to Jasmin, did you know that? And as a matter of fact, there are still some of his original orange trees alive in the hothouses of todays Versailles...) and high heels and having glorious baths built in Versailles. Using make up was de rigeur for The Gentleman.
After that, right up to 1968, it was normal for a man to be clean and not to offend eyes and noses of their environment. Now, after a short relapse into the hairy world, it looks like, that grooming  "for him" is back.

Today, so tells us the telly, men are once more invited to take care of themselves. This is true, but also with a little twinkle: I do not believe, that the prediction made by a make-up artist last year, that men will start once again to use rouge and real red lipstick, will come true.... OR?

One thing is not to be avoided: men and their washing habits have become a huge industry - but the truth is, there is no secret. It has all to do with cleanliness and cleanliness again.

So, some thoughts, nevertheless.
First things first: we are all lucky to live in circumstances, which allow us to have a regular shower or bath. So please, make it a habit right from the early ages of manhood, to take a shower daily and use a bar of good smelling soap or douchgel. There are marvelous thing out there, and you can find good products in all prize categories, just shop around a bit. If this is the only beautyregime you follow, it is already great and your glamour factor will go up 56%. Cecil Beaton said, that for him glamour in a man is the "Cleanliness, nothing else". And right he is!

I will not come back on the imperative of brushing our teeth twice a day, this will be hopefully so automatic, that you even have to think about this.
But beware: bad breath is a super killer for elegance and good grooming.

If you smoke, please, for our sake, go regulary to the dentist and have your teeth cleaned. Who wants to kiss a man who smells of cigars or cigarettes? Many a man has lost his credits with bad breath - and it is so easy to do something against it, like drinking much more water ( very often bad breath has something to do with being dehydrated), having a little package of mints in your jacket and/or once in a while brushing your teeth during the day in the washroom of your office. Eating regularly enough is also a good idea...
Bad breath is a great and difficult theme to talk about, there fore it is much easier if I write it here and you just think about it.

Another not negotiable Fact: To wash your hair regulary. One is amazed, if you start to look around clean, shining hair makes all the difference - over all ages. Especially, if you like to wear your hair long, which can be lovely! But if you have long locks, then you have to take care of them. Nothing more revolting than long and dirty hair on a man - brrr! 
On the other hand I cannot understand this fashion of shaving off  a head completedly - I mean, if this is not a sort of political statement or something else, why would you??. It is simply not attractive and the economies you make on  time, shampoos and water is a joke. If your hair thins, then let it be thin, take good care of it and don' t go bald on a voluntary basis. Please.

A real big no-no for a gentleman is dying one' s hair. A man who needs to colour his hair is always suspect - sorry to be so blunt, but here it is. The mixture between Sugar Daddy and pimp comes immediately to the mind of every well educted woman.
If you have white hair, go to the hairdresser and have one of those treatments, which take the yellow shimmer out of white hair - by all means. White hair that is clean and shimmering is a great asset indeed.

Speaking of hair: please please take care of the woody hairs growing in your ears and nose as you grow older - do cut and trim them. Every good barbershop will do this for you at your regular cut. Another major sin: not having a haircut regularly done...And a welltrimmed beard, if it has to be, is neccessarily also a clean beard, which is smelling good and is soft and does not remind people coming in nearer contact with a bushy wildernis with a life of its own...

It is no shame to use some bodylotion on those very dry legs or arms. Please take care of your fingernails  - this comes without saying: not long and clean. All you need is soap, water and a brush. Nothing else. And toenails..... no need to put vernis on, but file them and clean them regularly. Especially the feet suffer quite often. It has never been presumed  that you are a coward  if you will have a pedicure once in a while and take care to slap some cream or oil on those poor old feet as well. Rather on the contrary. Many a loving relationship found its sudden death in poorly maintained feet and their toenails...

Using a good after shave is today quite normal. Even better, when it is discreet and not shouting out loud all over the chef-etage...

And last but not least: having not only clean underwear and socks, but also a clean shirt, which has made some aquaintance with an iron is helpful, as is a jacket, which is not smelling of the pub you spent the evening before or  which is sprinkeled with a lovely coat of whitish dandruff. 
If you get also your shoes right - (so lucky, you do not NEED so many variety as we do and can use shoes for 20 years, if they are well made..)  and clean them properly, than only more thing to be a real gentleman is only one: a wonderful smelling and clean and ironed cotton hankerchief. In case you have to console a weeping princess somewhere.


Fazit: Especially as we all grow older, good or bad mother nature is kinder to you, gentlemen, than she is to us. Most men, when well taken care of and discreetly groomed, are looking better with age. So, take advantage of this unfair fact and give us the pleasure to be proud of you.  Though it is really unfair, that an embonpoint and white hair give you more glamour than it offers for us poor women. For you, gentlemen, the silverfox existence means experience, wisdom and very often also financial security. For us girls it looks simply equal for old age. Mostly.

!